Arwick (A Light Of Roria Sequel)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Staci

"I won't do it. I won't do it. I won't do it." I pounded my fist against the wall (technically it was the inside of a tree) over and over, and I fought the urge to use my magic.

After what I had done to Adi, I couldn't believe that earlier I had used it just to relax. I was literally hating everything about myself to the point of rage. And the worst part was the angrier I became, the stronger my craving to use became.

Screaming, I pulled at my hair. I was beginning to feel like a crazy person, and maybe I was, but I didn't know how much longer I could ignore what that dark part of me wanted to do.

"Okay, I'll just do it for a second then stop. It'll be quick, and then I can relax," I said, giving in. "It's not like I'll ever do something terrible like before again." I shook my head, rationalizing my choice. "I know better than to let myself get controlled by dark magic that much. A tiny bit, that's all."

"A tiny bit of what, my lady?" Aziel said from behind the door.

Jolting, I turned around. I didn't even realize he'd come back. "What is your problem, dude?" I snapped. "Why did you sneak up on me like that?"

Like usual, his reply was steady. "You seem quite rigid, my lady. Is it your dark magic that troubles you so? I can only guess how torn you must feel." He paused, glancing at me up and down. "To use. To not use. It must feel like a never-ending battle that cannot be won."

I was stunned. He was shockingly on point, and for a moment I thought I might be able to just talk through everything I was feeling rather than use, but the darkness wasn't having it. With a burst of rage, I jerked to face him. "Don't act like you know me! You have no idea what I'm going through. How hard this is! How badly I want to get out of this stupid cell and away from these stupid people and this stupid place!"

He looked at me like he was trying to read my thoughts. Aziel's eyes were focused, and it made me uncomfortable. "I came to give you good news, my lady. Elijah of Ethina has asked for your sister's hand, and Addisyn accepted. I know she wishes you to join the ceremony. I am here to escort you and see to your safety."

Aziel had completely dodged the fight I had started by changing the subject. Then remembering what I had done to her, I panicked. Shaking my head, I went to sit back on my bed. "I can't go. I could ruin everything. I'm not even sure if I can keep from trying to hurt her again, and I'm not about to ruin my sister's wedding." This was going to crush her.

"I believe not attending would cause your sister great sadness. I give you my word, my lady, if your magic overwhelms you, I shall keep you from anything you may regret."

"I'm sick of you trying to save me!" The dark blade was in my hand before I even realized, but the relief I felt from using it was almost scary.

"I will always save you." His voice was soft and sort of perplexed like I should have already known this.

The blade disappeared. The way he cared made me feel so lost. I didn't know who I was or which half of me I even wanted to be. I screamed, overwhelmed by everything. I knew Aziel was about to say something else, but I couldn't handle it.

"Just go," I said coldly. "I'm sick of you." I didn't mean to be so mean. Or maybe I did. Either way, I didn't look toward the door again. And soon I knew Aziel had gone.