My Very Own Winter Soldier.

Chapter 6

BUCKY

I've been here for a week now. After I walked away from HYDRA two and a half years ago, I went to see the Captain America exhibition in the Smithsonian museum. It was there that I realized Steve was telling the truth about being my friend. After that, I left America and went to Romania. I just wanted to disappear. The bombing of the United Nations building put me right back in the spotlight, and it was during the aftermath of the bombing that Steve caught up with me. We were both caught thanks to the interference of the Black Panther, aka King T'Challa of Wakanda.

After Zemo activated the Winter Soldier in me during my interrogation session at the Joint Counter Terrorist Center in Berlin, I managed to escape only to have Steve caught up with me again. When I told him and Sam that Zemo wanted the location of where the other winter soldiers were being kept, we knew that we had to stop him. As it turned out, Zemo did not want to activate them. He wanted to kill them, and by the time we got to Siberia, they were already dead. When we got to Siberia after our airport battle with Tony Stark and his allies, Zemo was already there waiting for us.

In the meantime, Tony Stark found out that the real psychiatrist who was supposed to interrogate me was murdered. He realized that Zemo was behind the bombing and followed us to Siberia. He joined us as a friend, but after we found Zemo, everything went to shit. Zemo was ready for us. He had a tape ready, which showed me killing Tony Stark's parents when I was sent to retrieve the super soldier serum his dad was transporting in 1991. Needless to say, Tony was beyond furious. The battle that ensued almost killed all three of us. Eventually, Steve and I walked away after Steve got the better of Tony Stark.

Steve hid me for a while and only after he gave Director Fury all the evidence regarding the winter soldier program HYDRA was running and how they controlled me to do their dirty work, did he convinced me to come in to SHIELD's headquarters. SHIELD helped me get exoneration for all the things I did as the Winter Soldier and agreed to put me in one of their secure facilities until Dr Raynor can do the psych evaluation, which was a condition of my release. They also agreed to help me find a way to get rid of HYDRA. In exchange, I will come to work for them as an Avenger once I am rid of HYDRA.

I know everything HYDRA did to me is still in my head. Zemo's little stunt proved that. All he had to do was say the goddamn words, and I was back to being a mindless killer again. Every night, my nightmares remind me of the killer I used to be and can still become with the uttering of nine little words. I don't trust myself. No matter how hard I tried to resist Zemo, I just couldn't.

During the last two years, I have been getting a lot of flashbacks of my life before I became the Winter Soldier, and I want that life back. I know I am more than the Winter Soldier. I know my name is James Buchanon Barnes, or Bucky, and that Steve was and still is my best friend. I also know I am guilty of assassinating almost two dozen prominent people in the last fifty years as the Winter Soldier and killing countless more for being in my way. I can remember every single one of them. Their faces edged into my mind.

I don't mind staying at the facility until we can find a way to rid me of HYDRA. I need help to deal with all the guilt I am feeling, and SHIELD is willing to help me. What I don't want is to have to deal with civilians. This woman SHIELD sent to help coordinate my stay here is a civilian. Her presence makes me nervous. After what happened with Zemo, I can't trust myself around people, especially not people who can't defend themselves against me. I can't be worried about losing it and maybe hurting her. I am too tired to still have to deal with that.

The sound of the security door opening brings me back to the present. I can hear them talking softly. After a while, I hear her approaching only to stop at the first cell. She must be checking out the layout of the cell area. I can hear her take a deep breath before she approaches my cell. Stopping in front of my cell, she stays quiet.

I can tell she is nervous by the slight quiver in her voice when she eventually speaks. The soft lilt of her voice ripples through my body, making the hair on my body stand up, touching every nerve ending. In that moment, with goose bumps erupting all over my body, I know that she is going to turn my world upside down. Lifting my head slightly, I turn slowly onto my back, taking a moment to compose myself before I sit up. Resting my arms on my knees, I let my hair conceal my face, not willing to look her in the eyes just yet. I have killed many men without a second's hesitation, and yet I hesitate to look at her. I think my body already knows that the minute I lay eyes on her, everything will change for me. And I was right!

She is fucking gorgeous. For a second I forget to breathe. She has the most beautiful expressive blue eyes, surrounded by high cheekbones. A petit little nose and the sexiest most kissable mouth I have ever seen. She's not wearing any make-up, except for a light pink lipstick. Her long black hair reaches the middle of her back, making my fingers itch to feel if it's as soft as it looks. 

I can smell the sweet fragrance of her perfume, a mixture of roses and sandalwood making me want to bury my face in the slender curve of her neck. The sober black suit she is wearing does nothing to hide her gorgeous body. She is tiny, about 1.65m. Letting my eyes travel slowly down her beautiful body I can already imagine those slender legs wrapped tightly around my hips, her spiked heels digging into my flesh, her pussy grinding on my now hardening cock. 

I can feel my dick growing, a possessive need to take this incredible creature and make her mine racing through my body. The feeling is so feral that it shakes me to my very core. Just for a moment my eyes must reflect the lust and possessiveness I feel looking at her because I see her shift nervously, her eyes widening just a fraction and then I look down again hiding my eyes from her. Only once I managed to hide the emotion in my eyes do I look back up again.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" my voice sounds hoarse from the effort of forcing the words past my lips.

For a second it looks like she didn't hear me because she just stands there looking at me. I can see the minute she pulls herself together, straightening her spine and lifting her chin just the tiniest fraction. She doesn't approach me, staying well clear of the bars and in that moment it hits me. She isn't just nervous, she is scared as well.