The Light of Dead Stars | KSJ

27

"Shit!" You yelp, caressing the toe that you stubbed on the table after the almost-shock of your life.

"Are you okay?" Jin asks worriedly on the other end of the line. He decided to call you to answer your multiple texts asking if he's okay since the rain had worried you and he might be out driving.

"Yeah, just a little accident but I'm in one piece," you chuckle. "But you, are you okay?" You wonder. "I can imagine it must've been hard for both of you."

"I feel better than I imagined," he sighs. "Yeah, well, things came up on her end and I've been too busy, too. We decided to just end things than let it drag on."

He hates lying, especially to you, but he doesn't know what to say that doesn't involve telling you how he feels.

"Oh, okay then. I'm sorry I'm not there for you right now," you say, and he can already imagine your pouty face.

"Don't worry about it. You're with your family and that's what matters so just enjoy there, okay?" He says. "I'll message you when I get home."

"Okay, be careful!" You yell before hanging up.

"Is your face always that miserable after a phone call with your husband?" Hoseok asks with an arched brow, the bitterness from the situation no doubt still making him a little cold towards Jin; you wonder how he'll react with the news.

"No, I never am," you say, giving him room next to you on the couch. "He and his girlfriend broke up, actually. So I'm just more sad for him."

"Are you really?" your brother turns to you with unbelieving eyes.

"Uh, why wouldn't I be?" You furrow your eyebrows. "She's a woman he cares about and who makes him happy."

"Is that something he said or you just assumed because he's been sneaking around with her for the past 5 years with no real intention of actually getting together?"

"I shall rephrase by saying that yes, I would assume because they've been a pair for 5 years and that means something. I can't imagine what having to let her go feels like for him."

"You would if you'd actually do it yourself, you know? Since there's a man you've been waiting around for for 5 years yet it's only left you with a broken heart."

"You really don't like any of the men in my life, don't you?" You pout.

"Aish, come here," Hoseok pulls you into a hug that you immediately drown in. "Jimin and Jungkook are the only men I trust to not break your heart. I trusted Namjoon, too, but every time I feel like he'll come around, he just always puts something else above you. And I hate seeing you second to his dreams all the time."

"You know I'd never ask him to give that up for me," you reason.

"I know, and he knows that. And maybe he's subconsciously taking advantage of that, knowing he's disappointing you but never enough for you to let him go. And that's not fair to either of you - your love for each other is holding you both back. That's kind of sad, isn't it?"

"When you put it that way, it does," you sigh. "I just don't know a life that isn't me loving him, you know? I've loved him for years and I feel like it's all I know."

"Correction - what you know is loving him from afar; there's a difference. Sure, it's still love, but it's not the kind that can sustain you; it's not the love that makes you happy, that makes you free," Hoseok, your ever-wise brother says. "Love should make you feel free, not bound to a promise that you don't know when will be fulfilled, or if it even will be."

"He said we'll talk about it though, when we meet again."

"Didn't he say that the last time, too? And then what happened? He asked you to run to Italy with him on a whim just because?" Hoseok reminds you.