The Light of Dead Stars | KSJ

32

Managing everyone the day after the dinner party was quite the feat, as they all wanted different things for lunch on top of the hangover soup that Jin made. But you both managed and got everyone out by the afternoon in time for dinner with his family.

It's gotten fairly easier to "fake" it, as Taehyung himself noted that he'd forget sometimes that you and your husband aren't actually in love.

You tried not to let it get to you or let it mean much, especially with Jin being way less somber than you expected ever since he got back from Japan, which was over 2 months ago.

He's been more playful, constantly pinching your cheeks and nose and teasing you more openly. He's been quite clingy, too - knocking on your door some evenings and lounging on your bed until you fall asleep, hanging out in your office when he doesn't have a lunch meeting, and asking you to have dinner out when he's too tired to cook at home.

He's also been more affectionate and touchy - automatically holding your hand whenever you're out on a business or social event, pulling you by the waist when speaking with guests and affiliates, sitting close to you when you're both out with your friends, and the one you've been most surprised with - hugging you when he gets home during the times when he has to stay back in the office to meet with his father and manage pressing issues.

There's that scandal that the head of one of their subsidiary companies is facing, and then the bribery allegations against the spouse of one of their board members, thus dragging the Kim Foods Inc. name in the mix. It's a lot of stakeholder and PR management that Jin, Taehyung, Sejeong, and their parents need to be on top of, and it's usually late in the evening when they all have time to discuss these matters.

It's Monday when Jin comes home, groaning in frustration as he ends a call with his secretary. You're seated on the living room couch, waiting for him. You didn't hear from him all day and Yoongi said that your husband was busy and only got to eat in the car while he was going from one meeting to another. You wanted to know when he got back so he could rant or talk to you if he wanted, or make him tea if that's what he needs.

"Hey," you say, calling his attention as he nears the stairs. "How bad was it today?"

"Not as terrible as last week but I haven't gotten over that yet so I'm still hungover," he laments, sitting next to you and lolling his head back. "I also have to fly to Singapore tomorrow to personally inform one of our distributors that we're terminating the contract because they're in some deep shit and we can't afford to get dragged into their mess, too."

You can only look at him with sympathy. There's always been so much weight he has to carry as the eldest of the family and the President of the company - he needs to protect their name and what they've built, their people, and their reputation. You've seen him decisively make decisions, call out incompetence and mediocre outputs, be detail-oriented and excellent in his own tasks, and still carry himself with so much poise and confidence every time, whether he's in the office, speaking during press conferences, meeting with VIPs, or just engaging with staff.

He's got so much on his plate and you admire him for all that he does, all while healing from a broken heart and being in an arranged marriage that he probably doesn't get enough comfort from.

"I'm sorry everything is happening all at once," you say. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I just need to rant. Can you listen?" He turns to you.

"Of course," you smile, and that's what you do.

This is the most frustrated you've heard him. The legal and PR teams are doing their best before the company's name gets tainted because of who they're associated with, and last week was truly the most stressful of it all. Jin is only able to fully process it now, as the issues are stabilizing and they're able to slowly move away from it without much fanfare, and so all the emotions and frustrations are being bared right now.

There's the culprits, then the board members who are taking sides, then his father who's being too hard on him, and Jin who's also being too hard on himself.

He massages his temple as he lets out a long breath.

"None of it is your fault, you know?" You try to comfort him. "These things happen, that's why you have risk assessments and risk management plans in place; it's why you have teams who are paid to handle them so the company won't lose too much, why you have people to do the other work for you while you're trying to get things under control. But it's not all on you, Jin. You have your family who are just as invested and have as much stake in this as you. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's gonna give you wrinkles."

He chuckles at that. "Is that why I have you, too? To remind me of all this and to make me laugh when I need it?"

"Yes," you wink, proud that you're able to listen and make him smile. "I'm also here to give you a head massage because it looks like you need it."

"That would actually be great."

He lays his head on your lap at your invitation, feeling comfortable with the throw blanket on it. He closes his eyes immediately once he feels your soft fingers rub his temples in circular motions, caressing his forehead down to his nose bridge. He moans quietly as he feels the hairs on his arm stand up at the sensation. There's enough pressure yet you're still so gentle, and he loves how your skin feels against his, even if it's just like this.

To keep his bangs from falling on his forehead while you continue your motions, your free hand combs his hair away, leading you to lightly scratch his scalp. He releases a satisfied smile at the action that tells you he likes that, too.

"That's so fucking relaxing," he moans again.

"I can get you a head massager, you know? That's an amazing invention," you giggle.

"No, I like this better," he mumbles.

You smile at his compliment and continue on, scratching his scalp and massaging his head. You take the time to appreciate him looking more at ease, as if little by little, you're able to help rid him of the stress that he carries every day.

He looks peaceful, with his rolled up polo sleeves and loosened tie, with his slightly parted mouth and steadied breathing, like for this moment, he can actually breathe. And you realize at this instance that you want to be able to make him feel this way - like he can be honest and vulnerable and free, like he can laugh and smile and be relaxed, like he can be comforted and at ease with you all at once.

Somehow, he's most beautiful like this.

You savor his look one last time before you lightly pinch his cheeks and whisper for him to wake up. He has an early flight tomorrow so he'll need proper rest. He opens his eyes and smiles tenderly at you.

"Thank you," he mumbles.

You change your mind. He's most beautiful this way.