Red Hot! (Sebastian Vettel)

45. A Shadow of Himself

February 2023

Seb stared at himself in the mirror. It was strange to see his hair short again, but it wasn't his hair that made him look different. Neither was it the two days of stubble on his face. It was his eyes. The sparkle had gone out of them.

Two months had passed since his realisation that he was in love with Libby. Two months had passed since his heart had broken. His life had changed forever after he'd arrived at her house too late to stop her leaving. She'd never returned his calls. He had no idea where she was, or if she was ok. He guessed that's how she wanted it. 

He'd been blind, and his blindness had lost him the best thing that had ever happened to him.    So yes, he was different.

Today he would begin the new chapter of his life. Today he was returning "home". He was in the U.K. for the launch of the RB19, his first Red Bull car since Suzie back in 2014. He'd already been to the factory for a seatfit and to meet his crew, but today was the day he would be officially revealed to the world as a Red Bull driver.

Part of him was nervous about returning to Red Bull after all these years. The place would have changed so much since he'd left, a lot of the staff would have moved on, but the other part of him was excited. After years of being unable to fight for the championship, he knew that this season he stood a real chance. He was looking forward to being able to race against Max Verstappen in equal machinery. With six championships between them there was always a lot of debate about who was "the best".

He told himself that maybe focussing on his racing would help to keep his mind off of Libby, but he knew deep down it wouldn't. He may forget her briefly while he was behind the wheel, but as soon as he stepped out of the car he knew he would be hit by thoughts of her once again.

He sank down onto his hotel bed. The last two months had been hell. It was only thanks to Antti that he was in a great physical condition to start his Red Bull contract. He'd let himself go, eating junk, being drunk more times than he cared to remember, and generally just moping about, nursing his broken heart and feeling sorry for himself.

He'd tried in the beginning, he really had. After several minutes of sobbing outside her house he'd pulled himself together. He knew he had to chase her and stop her. He had to get to her and tell her loved her. He'd soon realised though that he had no idea where to go. Was she leaving the country immediately? Was she going to her family? He'd cursed when he'd realised that he'd forgotten to get Emmie's phone number. He'd decided the only thing for it was to drive down to Portsmouth to find out for himself.....

Two Months Earlier

Seb thought he might have been caught on a speed camera on the outskirts of Portsmouth but he didn't care. He had to get to Penny's house as quickly as he could. Every minute, second even, might count.

He remembered the route Libby had taken four months before, it was a good job he had a fantastic memory.

As he neared Penny's road he began muttering under his breath, praying that he would turn the corner and see that familiar teal BMW on the driveway. She had to be here! She'd come to say goodbye to her family wouldn't she? She wouldn't just fly off without visiting?

He turned the corner and his heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest again. There was no teal BMW, just a silver Mini. "No, no, no, no."

He pulled up at the kerb outside. He knew he'd got the right address. He recognised the tall Fir tree on the neighbours lawn. He recognised Emmie's mini.

After sitting there in a daze for several minutes he got out of the car and approached the house. Maybe Emmie could tell him some more information. He was thankful that Penny's car wasn't there. Penny would probably kill him if she knew how he'd treated her daughter.