He Is My Everything

Chapter 16

Dan's POV + A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

My body is overwhelmed by nerves. Tiny pinpricks of regret begin to appear, but I brush them off. I want this, I know I do. My laptop starts to ding rapidly, alerting me that people have commented on it. My hand finds the mute button at the same time Phil's does. We both laugh as I hit the button and interlace our fingers.

The video starts off with normal bloopers. The parts that didn't make it into any of the Phil Is Not On Fire videos. The parts where I say something wrong and Phil laughs at me, or vice versa. Slowly, they transition to more affectionate ones. I put an arm around him while laughing at a question. He rests his chin on my shoulder to read a question off of my phone. Suddenly, the video cuts to TV static and the audio stops. The music switches to 'If These Sheets Were States' by All Time Low. Now there are short clips of us kissing or hugging or cuddling. For example, when we were filming the Tumblr video and I leaned over, nuzzling Phil's neck to tell him I wanted to watch anime. It ends with a shot of me and Phil with our arms around each other, kissing.

The title of our coming out video is "Bloopers", but oh how it is so much more. I look over at Phil to see an eager light shining in his eyes. He wants to look at the comments. I scroll down to see a lot of supportive ones, like 'THEY ARE SO CUTE' or 'OMG PHAN IS REAL'. There are some slightly more serious ones, like 'I'll support them no matter what!', which make me smile just as much as the other ones. The last type of comments is the one I'm dreading. Hate.

By now it's 3 am, but I am in the happiest mood I've been in for a while. Even the hate comments, saying ignorant stuff like 'wOw they r faggots!!1!q", can't deflate my mood. Although, when I look at Phil, his eyes lack the sparkle they had displayed previously.

"What's wrong, angel?" I turn to move his messy fringe out of his radiant blue eyes.

"I just want everyone to accept us. We've already gone through so much, it isn't fair, we deserve happiness." He pouts slightly. I just laugh.

"Phil, we do have happiness. Well, I do. I have happiness because I have you. You are my happiness." At this he smiles. He gets out of my bed quickly and pulls me up. His laughs fill my ears as he drags me along to the kitchen. Phil turns around and looks up me.

"Let's bake cookies." He says as his arms wrap around my waist. I break out in a fit of giggles.

"Where did this come from?" I ask him between my laughs.

"Well you make me happy, and I like being happy, and cookies make me happy, too. So then it's like, double the happiness!" He jumps all around and spins and talks like a toddler.

"Okay then, let's make cookies!" I smile at him and start getting the ingredients out. Phil plugs his phone into the speaker and puts his music on shuffle. Several songs come on before the cookie dough is placed in the oven. I lean back on the countertop and watch Phil dance to the end of the song that is currently playing. There is a moment of silence before A Thousand Years by Christina Perri comes on.

"Dance with me!" Phil shouts and walks over to me. He pulls on my shirt and I give in to him. He's too damn cute. He wraps his arms around my neck and I put mine around his waist. We sway slowly just listening to the music. I pull Phil closer to me as I start to sing along to the song. He smiles up at me and I continue to sing to him.

The song ends and another fast song comes on. We start jumping around, but we are quickly interrupted by my phone ringing.

"Awww," Phil whines, "who is it?"

"It's Cat!" I reply with a laugh. I quickly answer her call, eager to ask if she has seen our video.

"Hey Cat!" I say as I put the phone on speaker.

"Hi, Dan." She doesn't sound very happy. "So what was that video you posted?" Cat asks me, sounding irritated.

"Oh. It was kind of our way of coming out. Instead of a really serious video, we thought we'd make a video of all the clips we have had to cut out due to us kissing and stuff. What did you think?"

"Well, the video was cool, but I didn't know you guys were gay." She spat out the word as if it was poison.

"We didn't either, until recently. It just kind of happened" I smile over at Phil.

"That's, uh, interesting. Well, I thought you guys were Christian." She seems to be getting angry. I look over at Phil to see that he is mirroring my confused expression.

"We are Christian, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, um, being gay is a sin." Cat laughs a little at the end of her sentence.

"And?" My sass is starting to show through, as I have an idea of where this is about to turn.

"You can't be gay and Christian!"

"Then I choose gay. Cat, why are you acting like this? I thought you, of all people, would support us through this!" I'm starting to get angry, and Phil knows it. He comes over and holds my hand.

"Then you thought wrong! I'm not going to be friends with fags!" Her voice drips with venom, as she knows her words will sting.

"Wow, Cat. Then I guess this it. I wish you the best." My voice softens as I realize that she is really serious about this.

"Bye." Not even a second passes before she hangs up. I look over at Phil to see that he is looking back at me with a shocked expression. Before anyone can speak, I pull him into a hug. When we pull away I lead him back into my room. We sit down on my bed and I pull my laptop away up to my legs. I log onto my twitter to see that a few of our other friends have tweeted us. Some are supportive, and others...not so much.

Tyler Oakley ~ So proud of you boys! We can hit up some bars together!

Jack Harries ~ I'm sorry to say that we will no longer be associating with Dan and Phil.

Pj Liguori ~ Why did I not know about this?! #PhanIsReal

Chris Kendall ~ I ship it.

Felix Kjellberg ~ All videos I have with/about Dan and Phil will be removed.

We look through them for a little while before the oven goes off, signaling that our cookies are done. Phil bolts out of the room to get them before they burn while I stay on my bed. I lay back and look up at the ceiling. We lost a lot of friends and fans today, but I don't care. I'm proud of us and that is all that matters. Minutes later, Phil returns with several cookies placed on a plate. He offers them to me before sitting down right next me. I wrap my arms around him and nuzzle my face into his neck.

"I love you." I whisper and place a small kiss on his jaw. He laughs softly and and interlaces our fingers.

"I love you, too." He smiles. For the rest of the night we build a blanket fort, watch animes, and feed each other cookies. It's 8 in the morning when Phil falls asleep in my arms. I decide to end this day with a tweet.

Dan Howell ~ *boom* that was a canon going off.