He Is My Everything

Chapter 13

Phil's POV + Just the Way You Are - Pierce the Veil

I shake back awake at the whine of Dan's voice. I blink quickly, trying to regain my vision and awareness.

"You're lucky I love you." I lazily toss the words at Dan, still laying between my thin legs. He looks up at me and shows a small smile before his lips meet mine. Even though we've kissed many times before, I feel the same butterflies from that first time, and, honestly, it still feels amazing.

"The luckiest person alive." His response makes my heart flutter and my face shine with happiness. He turns his head back to the Death Note playing and I look at the clock. 12:11. It's still fairly early. Another episode passes before we speak again. I begin the conversation this time.

"Should we tell anyone?" I question Dan while he messes with his already disheveled hair. He shows a confused look and I realize that I haven't been very specific with my questioning.

"Tell anyone what?" He speaks as I direct my glance down at the boy on my lap. He looks so peaceful with his still body and gorgeous brown eyes, shining in the dim light. I could look at him for hours, days, years, and I begin to fall into a trance thinking about him. I'm really the lucky one here.

"You know, this whole thing we've got going on." My response is filled with anxiety and awkwardness, but I think Dan gets what I meant.

Dan sits back up and turns so his legs go off the sofa and he is sitting against the backing. His body still rests somewhat between my legs. I wiggle my legs around to get comfortable again in this new position.

"I would like to, really I would, but I don't think I'm ready. The fans would freak out, its a big thing to drop on them. And our friends, what would they do? Our family? Oh god, what if Chris and Pj don't want to be friends with us anymore?" I can see his breathing quicken as his hands begin to slightly shake.

"Come on, Dan. Pleeease." I know I should press on, but I do anyways. I feel regret filling my body up to the brim.

"Why do they have to know! Damn, calm down!"

"Woah, way to overreact, babe."

"Don't fucking call me that." His voice isn't loud, but definitely angry. Dan pushes himself off of my legs and stands up near the couch. "Why couldn't you have accepted my answer and left it alone?" He paces around the room a few times, running his hands through his hair.

"Why are you freaking out over this? If I would've known that you'd be pissed, I wouldn't have said anything." I scoff at the end out of anger and roll my eyes.

Why is Dan so mad about this? I didn't think this was a big deal. Calm yourself down, Phil. It'll work itself out. Hopefully.

"I'm sorry that I'm not ready for people to hate me. I'm sorry that I don't want to do this. I'm sorry that I have problems that you don't. I'm sorry that you can't seem to grasp what I'm telling you all the fucking time. I know something will go wrong. What I don't know is why we can't stay quiet for a while longer." Dan starts off practically yelling with sarcasm filling every word, but by the end, he is barely speaking as much as choking. Dan isn't crying, but he can't seem to speak. His words hit me right in the stomach and my breathing becomes unsteady. Single tears begin to build up in my blue eyes, and I can feel one large drop roll down from my eye.

"I'm so sorry." I repeat the same words Dan had used, but I fill them with as much honesty and sincerity as I can. I stand up off the couch and go to be by Dan. When I arrive, I attempt to put my arm around him, but I am only met with a hurt glance and a light shove that makes my heart sink into the ground.