nights in white satin | deancas

twenty-four

when dean opened his eyes, he had appeared in a enclosed garden with the most beautiful windows and marble detailing. the flowers were mostly wilted, giving the once peaceful atmosphere a sense of dread. he turns to observe his surroundings, starting with the fountain in front of him, and as he begins to look up at the sky above the sorrowful garden, the sky transforms quickly into a darkened hue of pink, replacing the dark blue.

"Dean."  amara announces her presence, establishing the power and control she wants over dean and the room. "how did you find me?"

his hands sweat and tremble, as hes absolutely terrified. "does it matter?" he breathes in deeply. "im here to give you what you want. me."

"thats a change" amara smirks, filling the scared man's head with disgust. 

"well, i cant just stand by and watch the world-" he takes a step forward. "my friends-" he takes another step. "my family, die." he continues his pace to her. "so if becoming a part of you takes me away from that, then im in." she knows thats a lie. everyone in the whole universe could feel the love he has for that angel, his savior. he is a part of him and itll always be that way no matter how the world ends, and every entity, every godly figure, every universe, knows it to be true.

"you... and that bomb in your chest?" dean freezes and feels his heart drop to his stomach. "you think i cant taste the power coming off of you? please. the problem is, you've never been able to hurt me. so what makes this time any different?"

his body feels heavy."i dont have a choice. what youre doing to the sun-"

"thats not me. with my brother getting weaker, the scales are tipping away from the light." 

"and into the darkness-"

"into nothing." she cuts him off once again. deans breathing becomes scattered.

"when gods gone," she walks to the other side of the room, tapping her feet intricately on the stone pathway before taking a seat on the ledge of the sculpted round fountain. "everything will cease to exist. including me." she gets angrier and angrier at dean the more she speaks. "my brother betrayed me. he locked me away for billions of years. he sent you to execute me!" 

"no, no, no. he zapped me here, yes, but he didnt want this. this wasnt his idea." a tear escapes deans eye. "youre family, he doesnt want you dead. he doesnt want any of this!"

after moments of stillness that felt like it could continue for an infinite amount of hours, dean breaks the silence. "is this what you wanted?"

"no! i just wanted to make him hurt, i wanted to make him pay."

"Yeah, that's revenge. it'll get you out of bed in the morning, and when you get it, it feels great... for about five minutes." he fumbles with his hands as tears form in amaras eyes. "i've been there. me and sam—we have had our fair share of fights—more than our share—but no matter how bad it got, we always made it right because we're family. i need him. he needs me. and when everything goes to crap, that's all you've got—family."

although he talked about his brother,  he thinks of his angel especially without mention. because of castiel, dean now knows what unconditional love feels like, and he misses him with every fiber in his being. thats his home.

"now you might be a—an all-powerful being...but I think you're human where it counts. you simply need your brother."

"just stop." amara scoffs at the hunter.

"you dont want to be alone. not really." he walks even closer, trying not to stumble with each fear driven step. 

"I mean, hell. Maybe that's why you wanted me. but deep down, you didn't really want me... 'cause I'm not him."  he looks down upon her. "so maybe I can kill you, or maybe I can't. maybe if I pull this trigger-" he lifts his shaking hand. "we all live happily ever after, or maybe we die bloody, or maybe it doesn't matter, because maybe there's a different way."

he begs for there to be a different way. 

there has to be.

he just got castiel, and he already is losing him.

its just not fair.

"so I'm gonna ask you again. put aside the rage. put aside the hate. and you tell me...what do you want?" he pleads.

chuck appears in the garden before deans eyes right after he finishes his question.

"why did you bring me here?" chuck asks his sister frustratingly.

"brother, i..."

they go silent as chuck sends a glare in deans direction. nodding to amara, dean connects his eye contact with god's once again.

"i  the beginning, it was you and me. i loved you, and i thought-" she corrects herself and changes her posture. "i knew, that you loved me."

"i did." her brother sighs. "i do"

tears fill the darkness's eyes, falling onto her pale cheeks and falling onto the black fabric of her dress. "But then you went and you made all these other things. I hated them. i hated you for needing something else, something that wasn't me. and then you locked me away, and all i could think about was making you suffer."

chuck reaches out for amara. "you had your reasons."

"i did. and I thought revenge would make me happy. but I was wrong." dean suddenly comes back to his senses, and feels like hes finally able to breathe. senses of relief floods his body.

"what you've made... it's beautiful. it took me a long time to see that. i know that we can't go back to the way things were. i don't want to, but i wish... i wish that we could just be family again." 

"i do too." chuck agrees.

 reaching his hand out, inviting amara to join him, she takes it in a heartbeat. 

a beam of light forms around their hands, and dean feels the warmth of the sun again on his face, embracing the light blinding his green eyes

______________________________________

castiel sees a hint of yellow peak out from the curtain, hitting the pool table at just the right angle to where it shines onto the wall, immediately brightening up the room. 

everyone in that room runs outside, gazing directly to the sky.

castiel feels as if hes falling apart at the seams.

"he did it. he bloody did it." crowley sighs.

"and dean?" the angel cries into the palms of his hands, trying not to drop to his knees.

nothing but complete silence fills the air, 

and his cries become more amplified with every tear that falls.

please, let him be okay.