nights in white satin | deancas

Eleven

dean walks away and opens up the fridge in the kitchen, and grabs a six pack of beer. almost slamming the box into the counter, he grips the glass bottle and let's the cold mixture run down his throat.

chugging the alcohol, Sam and castiel follow his footsteps, witnessing dean drink his problems away.

sam gives his brother an exasperating expression. "really?"

dean removes his lips from the top of the bottle and makes a noise of refreshment. "really."

castiel looks up at the ceiling while sam stares at dean with the same vexing look.

"what? look. we hit amara with everything we've got. and she walked it off. " dean confides.

"so, it's the last call?"

"that's right" dean pauses, taking another sip out of the bottle. "look, man. if you got something for me to punch, shoot or kill, let me know and i'll do it. i'll do it til i die. but how are we supposed to fix the friggin sun?"

sam just shakes his head
and walks out of the kitchen while castiel stays behind.

the two men exchange an apprehensive look as castiel steps forward and takes the bottle from dean's grip and gently tosses it into the trash bin, and putting the six pack back into the fridge shortly after.

"i don't know what to do" dean breaks the silence, sliding into the counter to sit and tucking his rough hands under his legs. holding back tears, he keeps looking down in hopes that castiel wouldn't notice.

but of course castiel noticed.

he notices everything.

castiel also knows that this was never about faking a relationship, this was about beginning a relationship. but as much as they love eachother, they both know that this isn't the right time to establish anything. so they just leave it be.

castiel brushes off his thoughts and hugs him from behind. his head leans on the boys' shoulder, hugging him so he knows he's not alone.

"i'm letting everyone down" dean whispers as tears fall from castiel's touch. the angel moves to face the hunter, caressing his cheek. dean just leans into his touch.

"dean look at me" he demands before making eye contact. he can feel the pain radiating and he wishes he could snap his finger and everything would be fixed. he wishes his love and his brother would stop hurting finally, that they can be happy. but sadly, some stories don't start that way. although he's determined to give them that happy story one day.

"you are not letting anyone down okay? you are doing so well, please don't give up now. i believe in you-" and before castiel could even finish his sentence, dean pulled on the angels' trenchcoat and held him tightly, whispering thank yous until he became sleepy.

"i'm right here dean. always have, always will."