Candid Heartstrings

(-)

To see around
scattered sadness, pretentious happiness
Broken hearts and unending loneliness 
Here I stand, conflicted

Different personalities resulting in thousands judgments
But the basic feelings reside
The masks break and trials fail
But ignorance and egocentric succeeds and prevails

Understanding be a curse
Hope and care leaves helplessness and misery
To be kind is suppressed
In fears of being oppressed

Closing my eyes
I feel the emptiness
the loneliness and helplessness
If expressed, I am told to stop
in hopes that I won't be hurt at all
Even though with desires to help
My hands are chained by those who care

My heart breaks to see them suffer
They're everywhere around us
In the crowd laughing, but inside lies the loneliness
Smiling while emptying the pain that resides
With friends but without them
Having a true friend but afraid of trusting them
Wanting someone to be by their side forever
But afraid of being left out all over again
My heart swells as I smile
But their pain and concern resides in my eyes
I want to help but I am chained
When will this cycle break
Of taking advantage of the kind
Of being merciless with who trusted you blind
Of leaving the helpful helpless
Of breaking the trust of your own true friends

Because with that I am chained
I can't help anyone and everyone
For those who care, worry about me
But then again, I try to explain myself
If who I want to help would take advantage of me
Then its best left to be with the ones I got besides me
Even if their suffering shall ache my heart
This world is cruel. It will break your heart.

( the last part, after "when will this cycle break" I wrote it just now. So it might not vibe with the above one i guess?)
I wrote this poem out of my desire to help someone. But afraid of being judged too. There are people whom you should stay away from. And then there are people who you could interact but its better to stay away as 'bad company'. To see one of them so lonely hurts me. Even with different personalities, we all feel the same emotions don't we? Then why the judgmental nature? that's what I meant by the line "Different personalities resulting in thousand judgements, but the basic feeling resides." 

So yeah, that's where this poem got originated from. High school sadness seen from my eyes of those who pretend that they're happy and nothing is wrong and are all 'cool dude'

Also, if you guys wanna title this poem, feel free.