Gangster's Girl (Complete)

Chapter 10 - Part 1

I readjusted the pillow. The pillow was uncomfortable, I felt too hot and no matter what I couldn't fall asleep. I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing, determined to fall asleep so I wouldn't be dead on my feet when I had to meet with James. It was eleven already and at this rate I was going to tired and grumpy.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I tried to think about anything other than the two girls I had searched on the web but every time I closed my eyes all I could see was their pictures from the news articles and their screams in the background.

With a frustrated groan, I sat up in bed. What was I going to do? This was clearly not working and I would have to try something else. I could head downstairs and get some milk but I wasn't convinced it would work, not after the day I'd had. I could always do some exercise and tire myself out. It was probably a better than idea than the milk.

I found some shorts and a small top. It would have to do. I went downstairs to the gym which was a couple of rooms passed Angel's study. It didn't surprise me that his light was still on.

It was a state of the art gym. There was every kind of exercise machine you could think of but running was my thing when I needed to clear my mind. I started off slow and started to pick up my pace. I wasn't one of those people who were fitness fanatics or into regular exercise. When I needed to clear my mind or get rid of unnecessary stress it usually help although I didn't think anything would rid my mind of the details of what was keeping me up.

I tried to concentrate on maintaining my speed, trying to keep my breath even as the perspiration trickled down my face. I ran until my top was nearly completely saturated in sweat. When I stopped the machine I got off and bent over my hands on my hips trying to catch my breath.

"I don't think I've ever seen you in the gym before," a deep voice drawled behind me, taking me by surprise.

I put my hand to my heart as I turned to face Angel leaning against the doorframe watching me. The way he was looking at me, made me feel like I was naked even when I was fully clothed.

"I couldn't...sleep." I managed to get out. I hated to admit I struggling to sleep and I didn't want him to ask me why.

He looked devastatingly handsome while I on the other hand was sweaty, my face red.

"We have a busy day tomorrow. You should get some sleep, you're going to need to be at your best."

My chest rose and fell with each heavy breath and I wiped the sweat from my forehead with a towel.

"Why? What am I doing tomorrow?" I asked. Other than the standing appointment I had with James at four in the morning I didn't have anything planned.

"We have to set a date for the wedding, we need to put a guest list together, you know all those type of things. You need to look for a dress, flowers, cakes."

"Can't we just get someone to do it for us?" I asked, not wanting to have to deal with all that stuff on my own. This wasn't exactly a love match and it felt more like a prison sentence, it wasn't something I was looking forward to or wanted to celebrate. All of it would be for show, with no substance to it.

"A wedding planner helps with the planning of the wedding, we still have to make all the final decisions."

There was no getting out of this. And I was too tired to care.

"I thought all women loved shopping for wedding dresses."

I shrugged. "Not me, I could care less. Dress me up in garbage bag for all I care."

If the situation was different I probably would have been a typical woman getting excited to declare my love for the man I was going to spend my life with. The truth was I was marrying a crime boss, who was marrying me to protect me. That was it. There was no love, we could barely stand each other.

"Why can't you sleep?" He changed the subject back to our original topic and it annoyed me. He always seemed to be able to hone in on things I wanted to avoid. It was his secret gift when I had to deal with him.

"I just can't." If I told him the real reason, it would only confirm his already weak view of me. In some ways I was feeling like I was too sensitive to survive in a world I had believed I could handle. As I was delving deeper into it, I was learning I was not built to deal with all the things I would have to. I didn't know what that meant for my future but I tried not to think about it.

I would have to find a way to toughen up. It was the reason I was getting up so early in the morning to accommodate James' schedule. Toughening up my physical side was proving to be much easier then my mental state.

His eyes swept over me. "You know there are other ways of relieving tension." His voice graveled as his eyes lifted back to mine.

I knew exactly what he was suggesting. I swallowed, trying to rid myself of images of our naked bodies moving together.

"I could make you forget everything for a short while." His eyes darkened as they held mine and I bit my lip. My mind was running crazy with every innuendo.

I wanted him, there was no question about that but what scared me was how much I was starting to feel for him. The more my feelings grew, the weaker I would become where he was concerned and to protect myself I had to figure a way to hold my own against him otherwise my mother's fate would be mine.

"Is that what you want Angel?" I asked, just above a whisper, knowing I was playing a dangerous game. He had much more experience than I did so I was up against someone who knew how to play this game better than I did but I wasn't going to back down. It wasn't who I was.

"Maybe you should call that blonde you had lunch with? Maybe she can scratch your itch." It still bugged me. I needed him to tell me that it wasn't what I thought it was.

"You're jealous but you have no need to be. If I'm fucking you, there isn't anyone else."

He moved to stand right in front of me and I lifted my chin to hold his gaze. "I want you." His words washed over me with warmth.

My throat felt dry again and I swallowed. I felt way out of my depth. The closeness of him scrambled my thoughts and all I could concentrate on was how close his lips were to mine. I knew how they felt against mine.

"I don't...think..." I couldn't seem to finish my sentence. The words disappeared.

"Don't think," he said softly. His eyes dropped to my mouth. He wanted to kiss me.

I wet my lips nervously, hanging onto the little control that had stopped me from lifting myself onto my tiptoes and sealing my mouth to his.

His finger went to my chest and trailed slowly down to between my breasts. My skin burned under the slight touch. "I know you want me Kira. I can see it in your eyes. And make no mistake, I want you just as much. There should be no reason to stop what is about to happen."

I dropped the towel I was holding and curled my hands into fist to stop myself from reaching out to touch him, no matter how badly I wanted to.

He lifted the finger to lift my chin. His mouth a breath from mine. So close. I closed my eyes and felt his breath on my lips.

"But you have to make the first move Kira. If you want this you have to tell me."

Why couldn't he just kiss me? Why did I have to make the first move? Was this a control thing?

It was becoming more difficult to remember all the reasons not to give in. Slowly, I opened my eyes as his head dipped and I felt his warm breath against my neck. It was the most erotic thing I had ever felt and he wasn't even touching me. Heat pooled between my legs and any restraint I had mustered evaporated, leaving me a mess of hormones and want.

I arched my neck and his breath moved slowly until it hit the sensitivity of my ear. He blew slowly and closed my eyes. My hands moved to hold onto him, I grasped his shirt and held onto him.

"Tell me you want this Kira," he whispered daringly into my ear.

"Touch me." The words tumbled out before I even realized what I had done but I was even too far gone to care. I would have made a deal with the devil to have him right then.

"Where do you want me to touch you?" His mouth moved above mine.

"Everywhere."

And I gave in, there was no more resistance.