Vegas & Pete - The reason why I love you

I - 11 Vegas the beast

Vegas

Why did I do this ? Why am I ruining everything between Pete and me ? My heart is heavy, I want to scream.

He is my first, my only love story.

Before him there were only one-night stands. My father humiliated me so much, especially for being gay, that I hated everyone including myself.

When I wanted to fuck, I took a guy, anyone. I know I'm handsome, it was easy. I took him to a hotel or in my car. I always had a suitcase with the necessary accessories to satisfy my urges: handcuffs, gag, whip, nipple clamp, rope... 

While I was fucking I needed to dominate, to humiliate, to make my partner suffer physically in order to come. Once I got what I wanted, I threw the injured and often crying man on the first sidewalk and forgot about him right away.

My love life was just like my life, a desert.

Only my brother could touch me. I had taken him under my wing to be beaten in his place by Dad in his frequent fits of rage.  But he often behaved like a spoiled child and, even if he loved me very much, he was most interested in video games, is sneakers or first love stories. I didn't interest him as a human being. He didn't know my cracks, the suffering hidden under my arrogance.

So, I never showed him the real Vegas, the beast.

And then Pete came into my life.

He has faced the beast in the eye. The one who felt nothing but anger. The one who tortured him almost to death, the one who humiliated him by treating him like a pet.

And in the midst of his torment, simply because he was Pete he managed to bring out what had been buried deep inside me for a long time : the power to love.

He saved me from myself and learnt me happiness.

- I have to apologize to him again. I don't care about being his dog, even the ant he crushes under his foot as long as I stay with him.

I don't want to tell that on the phone so I go back home. But when I get there he's already gone.

I go up to Macau's room, who is listening music. I tell him :

- Have you seen Pete?

- Someone came to pick him up by car, it seemed to be a guy from the main family, but I don't know which.

What ? What is he doing with the main family? A special job or he just wanted to run away from Vegas the asshole who only pissed him off.

- Ok and you're not in class today?

I see in his eyes that he is looking for a plausible lie.

- No, a teacher is absent. he said

I sit on the edge of the bed, raise my eyes to his. 

- The truth please.

He sighs and says: 

-Since the guys at school know that you are no longer the head of the minor family, there are plenty of them who make fun of me, they push me in the corridors, they laugh when I pass. I'm tired of it !

- And why didn't you tell Pete or me?

- Because you're like on honeymoon, you both look into the eye, you talk softly, you hold hands. I didn't mean to bother you.

- Since when do you bother your big brother ? You know I'm always available to talk with you. There will always be guys to envy us because we're powerful and wealthy. We're also very handsome.

He smiles

- You will have to deal with it for the rest of your life so get used to being respected right now. I've always been there to protect you, but now you have to take responsibilities. It's not hiding in the back of your bed that it'll get better. I trust you, I know you'll fix this. After all you are my brother. Come.

I open my arms and he throws himself into them.

- Thanks !! You're so different since you've been with Pete! It's crazy how he made you change. I used to love you but you always scared me a little. If I had told you that before you would have smashed the guys who bullied me.

It's true, every day I realize that he has changed me for the better.

I tell him :

- I have to go. I'm counting on you. 

He makes a hand gesture that means "understood".

Leaving his room I take my phone and send a message to Pete: "We have to talk. I'll be waiting for you tonight in "our cantina".

It's the only restaurant we've ever been to, so we called it "our cantina" and decided to go there for all special occasions.

I drive to go to the mall. I stop in front of the jeweler's window.

I've got to come up with something special for the occasion. I see two white gold rings. They each have an engraved half heart, one white, the other black and when you bring the two rings together the heart is formed. I think: - He will surely love it.

I enter the shop to buy them.

In the evening I am sitting in our restaurant. I put on a white suit because he once told me that he saw me wearing one at an auction where Kinn and I went. 

I was wearing a white suit and he was shaken when he saw me, he didn't know why.

I touch my pocket where I've put the box containing the two heart rings when my phone starts to vibrate.

It's a message from Pete: I can't come. I have to go away for a few days. I kiss you. Take good care of yourself. Pete