Vegas & Pete - The reason why I love you

II - 25 If you didn't exist

You don't exist, Pete. So you were never taken prisoner and tortured by Vegas.

Vegas

- I can't take this anymore!

I was torturing the spy sent by the main family. Within 5 minutes the pliers had convinced him to confess the whole thing to me. He was now crying like a baby begging for his life and I was starting to get really bored. The smell of sweat and urine coming from him made me sick.I flagged down one of my guards to clean up the place and left the room while the man screamed, stopped short by the sound of the gun that shot him.

I was smoking a cigarette while walking. The relationship with my father was worse than ever since I was targeted by the main family for messing with Kinn's little pet. So the meeting was probably not going to go well. I was already bracing myself in my head for the hail of blows that would come my way.

As I entered the room, I instinctively clenched my teeth as I approached my father's desk. In my thoughts he didn't deserve the name of father because even if he was the one who had fathered me, his role as a family figure had stopped there. Our chats were tense and, from our arguments, where I always lost because I didn't dare touch him, I came out frustrated and a little more disgusted with life.

- So you made him talk?

- Yes he is sent by the main family to put bugs around the house and spyware in our computer.

I could sense my father's fury as he pounded his fist on his desk. He stood up and walked aggressively toward me, then punched me when I was within reach.

- It's all your fault that things got so bad with my brother! You had to act like the little faggot you are! You're only good at it! Fucking around with whatever's in the way.

- Do you blame me for what I am? Yet you don't mind when you ask me to fuck your customers' sons! It's nice to be "gay friendly" for business and homophobic in private!

Every time I had the bad luck to rebel against his insults the result was the same; I took more beatings and today was not exception.

Afterwards my lips and nose were bloody and tears of rage were streaming from my eyes.

- You always use me to do your dirty work, sex, torture, all the things you wouldn't give even to the worst of your underlings. Why do you hate me so much?

He looked at me and I could see nothing but hatred in his eyes. He never apologized afterwards for all the bad things he did to me. Rather, I felt as if he resented me more and more.

- You look too much like your mother. She used to have the same eyes as you. Every time I look at you I remember her. She never said a word, but one look would be enough to get you sentenced. When I hit you, it's her look I try to get rid of, but you're always there like a vivid reminder.

- What do I need to do, just die so your guilt will go away? She died because of you, but that's not enough for you, do you want to get rid of me too?

He brushed my words aside and changed the subject as if nothing had happened.

- We must act tonight. You will go to the night club, Kinn must be there, I just want a little tête-à-tête between you and him. You'll just advise him to stop sending us spies, otherwise his men's numbers will drop dangerously low! Just a warning, don't come to arms and don't make me lose face in front of the main family.

I hate myself for simply answering: - I'll do as you wish father.

The club is packed, Jay comes running to greet me.

- Vegas! Long time no see. Did you look for me?

- Maybe a little later. Is Kinn here?

- Yes. Don't keep me waiting too long or I'll look elsewhere.

I spot Kinn and his men in the VIP area and approach them.

I lay down on the sofa next to Kinn and put my arm around his shoulders.

- Here my dear cousin! You are the one I was looking for.

- What do you need?

- I just spent a good time with your little spy bastard and he told me all about your tricks. I'm warning you nicely, stop sticking your nose in our business or it'll end badly.

- I don't know what you're talking about but I'm warning you, touch one of my men and you're dead.

- Oh, oh, oh how I fear. You'll excuse me but I've got a wet ass waiting for me so let's leave it at that. I won't repeat myself, you and your traitorous family mind your own business.

I get up to walk up to Jay's office. He's waiting for me, sitting naked on his couch. I don't waste time on foreplay and drop my pants.

After enjoying myself, I sit down on the couch and lighter up a cigarette. Jay acts like he's putting his head on my shoulder and I push him away fiercely.

He makes me sick, I make myself sick, none of this makes sense. My life is this way. Every day goes by with no clue of what I want, nothing makes me sad, nothing makes me happy, I simply never exist. I might as well pull out my gun and kill everyone present or put a bullet in my head, I wouldn't care. Is there anything or anyone in this world that could make me want to live?