Vegas & Pete - The reason why I love you

II - 7 Happiness is such a fragile thing

Vegas

The club is crowded. I used to frequent this kind of place regularly to hunt for fresh meat but now I stay away because my fame has come after me and I keep getting hit on by men who are willing to shiver with Vegas the psycho.

I no longer want to be that man but in such a place all my attempts to be respectable come to nothing. Some of them greet me with strong winks as if they were friends, while others flirt with me and give me seductive looks.

Will this image stick to me for the rest of my life? The screwer that jumps on anyone anytime.

When I'm hanging out with Pete I feel embarrassed to run into people from my old life. I so badly want him to be proud of me. I long to be the man he expects me to be, the father, the loyal husband who only cares about him, the bright businessman.

I know that for him only what happens between us now counts, so I have drawn a definitive line on my troubled past, but it is work that always brings me back to that past. That's why I wish he was with me now, so I could prove to everyone I' m no longer that evil guy. So they wouldn't mess with me with their dirty habits !

- Hi Vegas! I missed you!

Jay, more than anyone else, gives me back that image of the disgusting guy I used to be.

- Hi Jay I don't have much time so can we get into your office?

- You just wanna be with me, right ?

- Don't bullshit me. Just give me the books and I will leave.

- Whoa, relax, I was kidding. Come with me.

We go up to his office. A large window overlooks the club. Jay is an unpleasant man, but he's an excellent businessman and probably oversees everything from this spot.

I sit down on his desk where he has put down the papers. After a while, I get up.

- Everything is ok. I leave.

- Wait Vegas, I have ordered a bottle. At least share a toast with me in memory of the good old days.

I knew he wouldn't give up on me that easily. When we had sex I dumped him just like all the others. But for a while he kept hanging on and I ended up in his bed a few times before I could finally get rid of him. This guy was a leech.

- Just one drink then.

I walked up to the bay window to look at the dancers. He came over to me and held out a drink.

- Don't you ever miss this? He said, putting his arm on my shoulder.

- You were the king here, everyone at your feet.

- I don't know if you have realized it but while I was living this way of life I was truly unhappy.

- What are you talking about? Are you kidding? You had all the things you could ever want!

- I was just a puppet who hid the emptiness of his existence behind this violent and indecent behavior. No one gave a damn about how I felt.

- Yet I was so crazy about you. If you would have give me a chance I would have been able to make you happy.

I turned to him and held his chin in my fingers looking into his eyes.

- You were the worst, all you liked to do was to roll in the dirt and get people as low as you.

- You want to roll in the dirt with me? He said, bringing his face closer.

- You can always die. I said and I left the office, sick of having ever fucked a guy like that.

New

I ride my motorcycle to the front of the Macau house. I feel so excited about this trip. I wanted to travel this way for a long time. I hope that I will meet new people and feel closer to Chan than I do now. It is like a pilgrimage on his past life's tracks.

Besides, I'm not going there alone. I feel so happy to share these days with the one I am most connected to now. I shiver to death thinking about the next hours we will spend close to each other on the bike. I hope he'll wrap his arms around my waist.

- Hey New I'm here! He runs in, a backpack on his shoulders.

- Hi! Are you really sure you wanna come with me?

- Don't ruin the moment ! I'm so looking forward to our trip together.

I pull out the second helmet I packed for him and gently put it on his head. I grab the buckle and close it under his chin.

- Ready to go?

- Let's go!

I get on the bike, he sits behind me and puts his arms around my waist. We are like two lovers riding together for the first time!