8-14-22
Here we go again
Stuck
Stuck in a rut
Hating myself cause I ain't good enough
What will it take
I try
I try so hard
I just wanna be enough
Will I ever be enough
I'm trying
Trying so hard
Working two jobs
To get my own place
Got no time for myself
It's all sleep and work
Work in the evening and then through the night
Fourteen hours in a day
What do I have to do
To be enough for you
I feel like I'm losing you again
I'm losing myself
Oh who am I kidding
I'm already gone
Vaping and drinking
Who the fuck am I
This isn't me
I don't know who this is
Try not to be petty
But it's all so hard
Got so much on my mind
So much stress in my life
I'm focusing on to many things again
But tell me how
How could you hurt me
I try not to dwell on it
I try so hard
I try to trust
But believe me it's hard
I have a hard time believing
Your doing what you say
You are where you say
Lately it's been bad
How
How could you do it
I don't understand
I don't think I ever will
Even though I've forgiven you
It's still hard
When will I be enough
I'm working my life away for us
I'm throwing myself away
I'm sorry
We do the same thing everyday
In the spare moments I'm awake
I'm so sorry
I know you need excitement
I know
I'm sorry
I wish
I wish I could give it
But I'm tired
I'm fading
I'm gone
I'm lost
Who the fuck am I
This isn't me
All I've done
My entire life
Is take care of others
Work myself over
Till there's nothing left
Nothing left of me
Nothing left to give
But don't worry
I always find more of me to give away
Here we go again
Lost
Empty
Faded
Stuck
I'm sorry
You have no idea how sorry
Oh trust me
I can already hear what your saying
"You don't have to work two jobs"
Don't I
Tell me
Don't I
Have you seen how expensive living is
Have you fukin seen it
Naw I gotta do this
And I'll pretend to be happy
Pretend to be fine with it
But in reality I'm not
I wanna game all day
I wanna hang out with my friends whenever I want
But that isn't possible
Not for me
I gotta work
I gotta work
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry
I wish I could be better
I wish I could be enough
I try to do anything and everything I can to make you happy
I wish it was enough
And lately I've been unhappy
Lately I've been thinking
For fucks sakes what's wrong with me
Vaping ran out of alcohol
Damn
Who is this
Who is this kid
Oh wait
That's still me
Guess I found new coping methods other than cutting
Hooray I guess
Vaping and drinking will kill me faster than cutting
But cutting is frowned upon
But I can easily say I like drinking and vaping because it's fun
But lately that's not the real reason I'm swimming in chemicals
I'm escaping
Escaping from my reality
I've grown tired of dealing with it
Dealing alone
I've tried talking to you
But you don't get it
Say I'm being petty or over sensitive
Or something along those lines
Cause I'm a woman right
So we cry
It's what women do
Lately
I've been hating I'm a woman
I hate crying
But it's all so hard
Trust me however
I get mad
I get pissed
I wanna break shit
I wanna hurt people
But it's not worth it
So I'm back to where I started
Lost
Empty
Faded
Stuck
Damn
This shit sucks
How
Tell me how
How do I get past this
Past this again
I guess
We'll keep pushing forward
Going on in life
Pretending to be happy
Pretending to be fine with all this
All this shit
All this stress
One day I'll make it
I'll do it alone
Just like always
Cause I'll always take care of everyone else
Just as I have done
Cause if I ever take time for myself
I've somehow failed
I'm somehow a piece of shit now
But I don't know what anyone wants from me
I'll never be enough
Enough for anyone
What's the secret
Tell me what's the secret
How can I be enough
Enough for you
Enough for anyone
I'm working myself to my grave
For you
When will it be enough
When will I be enough
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
But I'll keep going
Taking care of everyone else and ignoring myself
This is who I am I suppose
And don't worry
I'll do it alone
Just like always
I'll make it alone
Here we go again
