4-18-23
It's been hard not to be around you
Yet at the same time it hurts to be next to you now
I've been hurting seeing the pain I've caused you
I never wanted to be the reason
I never wanted to break your heart
I thought we'd be together forever
Get married and live to old age
Everything was perfect for so long
But shit started happening
And kept happening
And I was too controlling
And the arguments became more often
And fists started flying
But despite all that
You've taught me so much
Made me realize a lot about myself
Made me more ok with myself
Made me become more independent
And I'll remember all the good times
The things that made it worth it
The way you smiled when you said my name
The way you helped me when I felt the world was crashing down
I hate how much I've hurt you
Seeing your pain makes me wanna take it all back
Take your hand and tell you we'll figure it out
That we'll be ok
But I know it's not good
I know the hurting we were experiencing
Will just continue
Over and over
And we'd become more toxic
We already were starting to be
I'll always be grateful you were my first real love
The one I gave myself to
All this to say
I'm sorry we couldn't work out
That we weren't compatible in the place it mattered most
But you'll always have a special place in my heart
And thank you for everything
