𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 /GXG/

🔹️I can't deny my feelings

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CHAE WON
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Da-hye and I are running to the seminar room while Mrs. Jeong Su-zy tells us to stop running because otherwise, she will give us a warning and everything I already know. I'm not mocking her, I even brought a Bible because today I'm going to pray, but I don't agree with certain things, and so I don't want to get angry because we contradict ourselves.

As soon as we enter, Da-hye in front of me already makes the sign of the cross when she sees it on the back wall. There is also an image of Mary's heart.

Sana told me that demons hide behind saints, and, looking for the image, I sit thoughtfully in the second row of chairs, next to Da-hye, who already has her rosary. I close my eyes and think about what to say. The only thing that comes to mind is that I think I like Akari.

Yesterday, late at night, she wanted to take me to the rooftop. The door was locked. I was nervous because she wanted to get closer to me on a more intimate level.

''Have you finished your prayer yet?'', Da-hye asks.

''I don't know.''

''Do not know?''

''I think so.'' I open my eyes, thinking about her.

''Say Amen and sit down,'' Da-hye whispers, making the sign of the cross and looks at me with a friendly cat face. Her blonde hair is loose, covering her shoulders.

''Have you finished praying the rosary yet?'', I ask.

''I just have to say thank God.'' She smiles widely, combs her hair, and watches Sana walk by, get on stage, and prepare something to read. ''And you?'', she asks.

''I'm reflecting a mistake.''

''About what?''

''It's something I did... It's not good for me to reveal this to you.''

''Sometimes it's good to have someone to talk to. This way, you clear your mind.'' Da-hye continues looking at Sana, who wets her fingertips and begins to reformulate the Bible.

''My mother has already cleared my mind very well,'' I respond, looking at Sana with an expression of annoyance. It's not for her. I'm just remembering that day on the couch. To this day, I can't believe this happened to me. I don't wish that on anyone.

''That's great!'' Da-hye suppresses a smile. ''Where did you go last Friday?''

''I was with Yan-unnie and Sannie at Rollie.''

''I noticed that you have become Yan's pet.''

''Me?'' I laugh without realizing that Yan and I are close.

''I bet you're jealous. Few girls here hang out with Yan-unnie. I, upon insistence...''

''.. and a lot of money spent paying for coffee. You did it!'' Da-hye ends up laughing.

My smile disappears. I end up remembering Su-min. It was like that, too. Now I feel sad.

''She's my friend,'' I say in a monotone voice. ''Yan-unnie has been getting closer to me lately because we have something in common about life.''

''Uhm. Buy the whole school a banana and vanilla milkshake every day, and everyone will be your friend.''

I open the Bible and turn the pages. I'm angry!

''What are you looking for?'', she asks

''Anything! What the hell!

''You shouldn't say this before the Lord,'' she scolds, looking at me with disdain.