𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 /GXG/

🔸️The path I choose ||

______________________
AKARI TOKIZAKI
______________________

[December 7th]

I am regulating the blue-yellow flame on the stove. I am preparing lunch together with my mother.

The bacon is already cut into cubes. I put it in the frying pan and let it fry without putting oil or anything.

In total, 100 grams releases 3 tablespoons full of fat. I take everything out and keep it in a small bowl and then add the chopped onion and then the rice. I cover with hot water.

Oh, sure! A little bit of salt.

And then I taste it.

Now it's time to put the fire down and wait for the cooking time.

"Akari, chop finely. But be careful not to cut your finger,'' Mom warns, handing Mitsuba ㅡ an herb we use a lot. It doesn't have bitter taste but has very unique scent.

I look for the knife, already putting the herb on the board and cutting as requested. I transfer it to the plate, and we are silent for seconds listening to the rice water bubbling ㅡ which releases steam with a delicious smell.

''I can see you're more interested in cooking,'' she comments.

''I'm loving cooking.'' I force a smile.

''Great!'' Mom raises her eyebrows and smiles back.

''Excellent!''

I hide my real intention pushing for the end instead of saying once and for all, ''Enjoy your last few days with me, Mom.''

And more silence.

The worst part is this: Having nothing to say. Having to look for a subject that never continues.

Mom is sitting at the table. With her vacant stare, she doesn't even realize she's drinking her tea. She raises the cup to her mouth with mechanical slowness; and I lean against the sink with my arms and legs crossed, with nothing to do.

A month has passed since the incident, and we can not go back to the way it was. I don't think we'll ever be what we were.

''Mom, Mrs. Yamazaki Yuriko has been complaining a lot about hot flashes just like you, mom,'' I comment, striking up a conversation.

''She must be going through menopause.'' Mom takes over. ''How was yesterday at work?''

''I must have served seven undecided customers. Sometimes, I even think about choosing for them.''

''Is Sana's mother a good person?''

''She really is. But she has a strange way of dressing. She doesn't dress for 40, looks like a lady, and has a boring conversation about matching clothes and shoes.''

''But she works with it.''

''I know.''

''You have to get used to it if you want to work there. You're thinking it's going to be easy to juggle studies and work.''

Mom goes to the window, closing it and cutting out the daylight. Turn the light on. On her left hand, she wears vinyl gloves. With the right hand, the detergent. It's late and she still thinks the house is dirty.

''It's not!'' she keeps complaining. ''You are wasting time. Time you could spend studying.''

''I am not wasting my time,'' I reply in a calm voice.

''You don't need that, Akari!''

''I want to have my money!''

''Your father already gave you money.''