𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 /GXG/

🔸️Hidden traumas

[June 26th. Thursday.]

Another night. It has always been like that. I've never been one to venture out. To give it a chance, I wouldn't say I'm a coward, I even wanted to do something exciting, but my psychology won't let me.

I can explain why: in every situation that puts me in extreme adrenaline, the fear grows so much that it literally makes me feel panic.

''Where are we going?'' I have my arms between the passenger seat and the driver's seat. I don't know where Yan is taking us. It is not the path to the international Christian school.

''To my apartment,'' Yan replies.

''You live so far away?''

She doesn't respond. What a habit she has of making me so deliberate!

''Gimpo!'', now she responds.

Here, it seems like the end-of-the-world: some strange houses, some empty spaces, just bushes on the side of the road.

''Hang on! We have classes tomorrow! To be exact, in a few hours!'', I say.

''We're going to skip first period class tomorrow,'' Yan says softly.

''I'm screwed!''

''Who cares! You don't have a scholarship.'' She shrugs.

''But I want it!'' Chae won's voice is alarmed. ''I can't miss classes, the semester exams are next week!

''You wanted to come with us. It's your responsibility!'', says Sana unburdened.

I place my hand on Yan's shoulder to make sure she hears what I'm about to say and squeeze it. ''Didn't you say you left city?!''

''Open the door and throw her away, Yan!'', Sana says hurriedly.

''Stop being ridiculous!'', I say. My eyes move to Sana.

''I can't miss school. If my mother finds out I'm doing this, she will kill me!'', Chae won says in a painful voice.

''I'll teach you how we cheat the system,'' says Yan.

''I'm screwed!'' I mutter, sinking my back into the seat. Desperation hits me hard, wondering what is happening to me and imagining my parents discovering that I am skipping school outside of boarding school.

It's like all my weakness and dizziness returned to my body, and I am panicking again.

I feel my body shaking so much, and my stomach freezing, that I have to lift my head and breathe as much as my lungs can take.

Yan turns up the radio volume. Ylvis is playing - the fox_, and Sana singing ''wa pa pa pa pa pa pow!''

I control the tremors, breathing deeply...

''WHAT THE FOX SAYS,' she sings in a soft voice, her eyes on mine. ''wa pa pa pa pa pow!''

It's killing me.

I try to dispel my thoughts of strangling her by focusing on the road.

Yan makes a sharp left turn, shifts into second gear, and makes a right turn so fast that my body is thrown into Chae won.

''Are you hurt?'' I say, returning to my seat.

"No." Chae won shakes her head.

The asphalt becomes a straight line as far as I can see, as far as the headlights shine in the darkness ahead.

''I doubt you'll drive better than me!'',  Yan says to Sana in a mocking tone. With her left hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gearshift, she shifts into third gear and accelerates.