Chapter-40- Anirudh's Harsh Letter To Bondita

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"Ms. Bondita Das,

If I look at the last five years of my life, I couldn't spot myself in it except you. It's like my existence got totally erased from my own life because of your presence. I have invested day and night to build your life, to make you independent and to give you the freedom that you deserve. But, do you know that in the pursuit of giving you freedom I lost mine? You don't, right? I haven't let you known.

Well, I am tired now. I cannot spend any more of my time and energies in you. As promised to your mother, I have joined you in the world's best institution that will make you an efficient barrister. Henceforth, you wouldn't need my guidance or protection anymore, because you will be safeguarded by the college management. And, by the time you finish your studies, you will be independent enough to build your life in the way you want and take care of yourself. You will be able to fight for yourself and also for many people like you, that you won't need an Anirudh Roy Chowdhary by your side.

Your education will protect you from all the evils for the rest of your life, that you will not find the need of a rakshak babu anymore. You will make new friends and forget your sakha babu forever, will you? Well, you should; because from this point I am withdrawing myself from your life. Once you return to India, your family will receive you.

I hope you won't come in search of me then. Please don't. I won't be available anyway because hereafter, I want to live for myself, fulfill my unfulfilled dreams and enjoy life without carrying any burden of responsibilities. I wish to have a free life where I can go about from place to place, understand the situations of the people and help them in every way I can. I even want to join the freedom struggle movement. So, searching for me would be a waste of time and I don't want you to waste your precious time for anyone.

Once I get you admitted in the college, I will pay your entire fee and that will be the end of my responsibility towards you. After reading this letter, you may feel sad but don't cry. If you have ever respected me or considered me as your teacher, you will not waste your time in crying for me. You will convert every drop of tear and every bit of your anguish into determination. The temporary pain this letter causes you, should be molded into a permanent strength that makes you a great barrister. Don't ever think of quitting your education or turning away from your goal. Do you remember what your goal is? - Social reformation and upliftment of women in India. I hope you will never forget this.

This is the last letter I will be writing to you, as there won't be any communication between you and me from now onwards. Good bye, barrister babu Bondita, forever.

Yours truly,

Anirudh Roy Chowdhary."

I collapsed to the floor beside my bed as I read this letter once again. In spite of knowing the reasons behind writing this, it stabbed me every time I read. Then how would Bondita take it? Will this break her beyond repair? This thought sent shivers down my spine. "On an unknown land if Bondita fails to gather herself then how will she progress? Who will be there to console her? If something bad happens to her life, leave about forgiving myself, I will not be alive in the first place.", I thought.

Another thought that came to my mind at that time was, "What if I stop all this and make Bondita understand things? As she is a mature girl who is very understanding, she will be able to accept this too. Then probably she will have less pain."

With this thought, I tried talking to her during the dinner time. At first, I apologized to her for my behavior that afternoon. She gracefully accepted saying that I have every right to scold her as a teacher. Then slowly I attempted to open up my concerns before her and make her understand the need to stay away from me.

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