nini salazar-roberts had her moments,,, good ones and bad ones.
her character arc is so interesting to me,,, and now that she departed the show at the end of s3,,, i think it's time we get into it.
i'll publish one part per season analysis so that it won't get too long in one chapter lmao!!
season one
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the pilot episode established the problem she would be facing for the entirety of the show: feeling voiceless. holding herself back bc she thinks she's not enough (("all I have is myself at the end of the day,, and all I want is for that to be okay")),,, bc she defined herself on how others see her ((ricky being someone she mainly relied on)). bc of her teenage insecurities fueled by being in the background all the time,,, her love life,,, and never knowing how to express herself.
what triggered her to change was ricky calling for a "pause". what she saw as a break-up hurt her so bad bc this was the boy who was her best friend for her entire life and now it seemed like he didn't think she was good enough either,, good enough for him to say "i love you" back. nini posting her anniversary song on instagram is also smth to note bc it sort of seems like she wasn't confident enough to sing it in front of him ((almost like she needed online validation first)),,, so an already nerve-wracking moment like this hit her hard when it didn't go successfully. it's actually this failure and heartbreak that sets the tone for her character throughout the series,, something that gave her a kind of pain she refused to feel ever
again later on.
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she meets ej and it's perfect bc suddenly here was a guy that made up for everything ricky lacked. emotional vulnerability and a love for musical theatre. someone who was brave enough to tell her immediately that he thought she was amazing and talented. someone who actively boosted her confidence bc of how open and confident he was. the only problem ((which she didn't acknowledge)) was that the only thing between them was attraction,, at least on her end. she couldn't say she loved him,,, she was clearly not over ricky when junior year started,,, and it's only later she admits who she's still pining for, "And I say that I'm through but this song's still for you."
