awsten knight imagines

putting it off.

word count: 1547
tw: angst, accidentally pregnancy, arguing, language

i dropped the pink stick on the ground and slumped to the floor as i put my head in my hands.

positive. of course the stupid pregnancy test had to come back positive the week after awsten leaves for a four month tour. just my fucking luck.

what the hell was i supposed to do? we had always used protection and i didn't remember a time where the condom broke. unless we just didn't realize. i knew i had to tell awsten but there was nothing he could do. he was gone for four months and god only knew how far along i already was.

part of me didn't want to tell him. he was already stressed out by his record label and fans wanting more and more from him. i couldn't expect him to just drop an entire tour to have a kid with me. we weren't even married. we had only been together for a little over a year and a half.

i sighed as i grabbed my phone and dialed my doctor's number. i figured i could at least get total confirmation that i was actually pregnant before telling awsten, couldn't i?

if i wasn't, then it was nothing and i could blow it all off like i never even took a test in the first place.

two weeks later

i got home from the doctors and lounged across the couch and stared at the ceiling.

i was pregnant. eight weeks to be exact. i was expected to come back about a month later to already find out the baby's gender.

it was insane to me. how the hell was i supposed to tell awsten? i had to come up with a plan. i needed a plan.

as if on que, my phone started ringing. it was awsten facetiming me. i was wondering how the show ended so early but i remembered he was five hours ahead of me.

"hey, gorgeous." awsten greeted me when i answered. i smiled.

"hi, aws." i greeted my boyfriend back.

"how are you? what are you up to?" he asked me. i shrugged.

"i'm okay, i've just been hanging around. how's tour? how are geoff and otto?"

"tour is tour. only three weeks in and i'm tired as hell. i'm sure otto and geoff are too. we've been playing the best we can but i already can't wait to come home to you."

"is it at least fun? you're having fun, right?"

"yes, baby. i'm having fun. i love the fans, they really make it all worth it."

i smiled at him and i was silent for a moment. i knew i had to tell him. i just didn't know how. it was complicated.

"babe, i have to tell you something."

"what's up?"

"i-...uh..." but i just couldn't spit it out. "i really miss you."

"i miss you too, honey. just a little over three months left."

"i can't wait."

"neither can i. i'm gonna let you go for now though. i gotta shower and head back to the bus soon." awsten told me. i nodded.

"okay, i love you, aws." i replied.

"i love you too, baby." he then hung up and i dropped my phone on my chest.

i had to tell him. i couldn't just put it off.

but how?

three months later

i somehow managed to put off telling awsten that i was pregnant the entire tour.

i was absolutely terrified of how he was going to feel and react. i knew i should have just told him from the beginning but i didn't know how to spit it out. but soon enough, he was telling me he was on his flight home and i was sitting at home, six months pregnant, and he didn't even know yet.