awsten knight imagines

try again.

word count: 1153
tw: angst, ciara, language

a/n: in this story you'll have purple and blue hair!!

"i saw him next to you when you answered the call, ciara. i know you've been cheating on me. i'm done." i told my cheating soon to be ex girlfriend.

"awsten, please. you're being delusional, there was nobody with me. i would never cheat on you, i love you." she pleaded, resting her hand on my arm. but, i shrugged it off.

"just stop. stop! i've heard from other people that they've seen you with this guy. kissing him, even. i didn't want to believe them but you proved them right. this man was in your bed while i was away on tour. god, why can't you just admit it so i can move out of your house?"

"fine, you're right. i cheated on you, awsten. you want to know why? because you don't try hard enough in this relationship. you're gone constantly. and, you're always so gloomy all the time. oh, my bad, you say it's your seasonal depression. maybe it's just you realizing you'll never actually amount to anything and nobody will ever actually want to stick around and wait for you."

"ciara..." hearing her finally say these words that i knew she felt deep down, still hurt like a motherfucker. but, she just smirked. how could this woman that i adored and bared my heart to be so heartless?

"oh, come on. you knew this all along, you already said you knew. just pack your shit and get out of my house. just good luck finding someone better than me." ciara said, snickering.

i fought back tears as i got up and made it to my room. this was it. all of my overthinking was confirmed and it was officially over. the girl i thought was my soulmate, the girl i thought i was going to marry cheated on me and told me i'm not good enough.

maybe i'm not. she was probably right, i would never find someone after her. ciara was my heart, my muse. she shattered me and i didn't know what i was going to do next.

i was kind of thinking that i'd never bloom again.

a year and a half later

i waited in line at starbucks for about five minutes until a barista finally took my order.

i was greeted by a girl with insanely good eyeliner and really cool purple hair with blue highlights. she was extremely pretty and it almost took me back. her name tag said "y/n" and she was giving me an odd look.

"hello? sir? i asked you what you'd like to order." y/n said, snapping me out of my trance. i realized that i had been staring for a few moments and i was holding up the line. i looked around and blushed in embarrassment.

"oh gosh, i'm so sorry." i apologized. i then ordered my drink and smiled. "by the way, i really like your hair and makeup. you're really pretty."

"thank you! i really like your hair too." she said, pointing to my faded pink hair. i chuckled.

"thank you." i thanked her.

she then went to make my drink and i stood there, waiting. the more i thought of it, the more i realized how pretty this girl was. but, there was no way i could date again. could i?

i mean, yeah i obviously could. there was nothing stopping me. except maybe the trust and abandonment issues ciara left me with. did i even remember how to date? and, what if this girl was a repeat of ciara?

i thought about this like y/n and i would ever see each other again. i never asked for her number or anything. i wondered if i should. she really was pretty. she seemed sweet as well. i just feared what happened with ciara happening again.

"here! i wrote my number on the cup. you should text me." y/n gave me my drink, with a smile. so she must have thought i was cute too. i smiled and thanked her and then walked out, making my way to my car.

i debated whether or not i'd text her. there really shouldn't have been anything holding me back but there was. i was really scared. god, i hated ciara for making me scared to try again. it wasn't fair.

when i got home, i set my keys on the table. just then, jet ran to me and sat by me on the couch. i pet her as i debated some more and then grabbed my phone.

me: hey, is this y/n? it's awsten from starbucks.

eventually, after a few minutes, she responded.

y/n: hey, awsten! yes, it is. also, i don't think i caught your name until now. it's pretty cool, by the way.

god, this better go well.

two months later

a couple months passed and i ended up getting really close with y/n.

i had taken her on three dates and things were actually going extremely well. i knew i should either ask her to make it official or break it off before things went farther, but i was conflicted. y/n was extremely smart and sweet and absolutely gorgeous, but, there was still a part of me that feared a repeat of last time.

y/n isn't like ciara. she's so much better, she'd never hurt you. you have to try again eventually, so why not with y/n? she'll treat you well and you know it.

"hey, are you okay? you seem spacey." i looked up and y/n was approaching me with a bowl of popcorn. she invited me over to watch a movie at her place and she made us popcorn.

"yeah, i'm fine don't worry. i was just thinking that's all." i assured her. she sat close to me, leaving only space between us for the bowl of popcorn.

"might i ask what you were thinking about?" she asked me. if ever there was a good time, it was then.

"just us. i mean, we've gone on a few dates already and i think you're the coolest and prettiest girl i've ever met."

"i think you're cool too. and, you're super cute and talented."

"does that mean you wouldn't mind being my girlfriend?"

"awsten, i would love that."

i smiled and blushed, thankful that we were finally official. i knew there was a lot at stake, but this girl was worth it. i was willing to trust her.

"that's...that's great. can i kiss you, y/n?" i asked my now girlfriend. she smiled and nodded so i leaned in.

the two of us kissed and i smiled against her lips. there was a time where i thought i would never feel this again. but here i was, happy as could be.

it was thrilling.