---"Hindi kami nahihirapan, Chi. Stop thinking about things like this."
Sabay kaming napatingin kay Cairo na pababa ng hagdan. Seryoso ang tingin nito kay Chi, mukhang nagpipigil ng kung anong emosyon na maaaring makita ng kapatid.
"Pero..." Chi whispered.
I sighed and held her cheek, "Lumalamig na yung turon, Chi. Ubuson mo muna."
She pouted before nodding and did what I said. Lumipat muli ito sa tabi ko at tumingin nalang sa tv. Napahinga ako ng malalim, ang bata bata niya pa pero ganto na siya mag isip.
And I didn't know their parents left them. Ang sakit isipin.
I looked at Cairo when he sat beside me. Mukha itong pinag aaralan ang ekspresyon ko kaya nginitian ko ito. He sighed before reaching for my cheeks. He kissed my forehead bago nakinood na rin sa tv, ng Barbie.
Wala naman itong reklamo, para bang sanay na sanay ng nakikita iyon. We all watched silently until Cairo needs to leave for his second and last work for the day.
The routine again went on like that. Tuwing gabi ay nauwi si Cairo sa condo ko. Papalit palit. Sakin, sa kanila, sakin, sa kanila. I have no complains other than him looking so tired.
I feel guilty because I'm no help to him.
Wala akong magawa kundi intindihin siya at suportahan. Pagod na nga siya lagi tapos dadagdag pa ba ako? Marami na siyang problema, ayokong maging parte non.
All I can do is support him and make things easier for him especially if I can do it. Like cooking breakfast. Pag dinner naman ay nagdadala ako sa kanila dahil lagi kong binibisita si Chi. Parang nasanay na lang rin akong ganon ang ginagawa.
At kasama rin namin siya ng isang oras bago ito aalis muli.
Ang hirap pala ng ganito. Mas mahirap sa panahong may pasok kami, na tuwing sabado lang kami nagkikita. Dahil alam ko, noong mga panahong iyon, sa pag aaral at trabaho siya pagod pero ngayon, sa dalawang trabaho na, may problema pa sa pera, nag aalala pa lagi sa kapatid.
Ayaw na ayaw niyang maiiwan si Chi mag isa. Halatang halata na minsan ay ayaw na nitong umalis, ayaw ng iwan si Chi.
Isa rin sa rason bakit itinuturing ko itong mas mahirap ay dahil mukha itong nahihirapan. Pero walang choice kundi gawin ito.
Ang sakit sa puso.
Mahal na mahal ko siya kaya nasasaktan akong ganito ang pinagdadaanan niya.
"You know, you can borrow money from me to pay your loans, Cai." I whispered to him while we're on my bed.
Nakapikit na ito, handa na kaming pareho matulog pero alam kong gising pa siya dahil kakahiga lang namin.
At tama nga ako, he opened his eyes. He's tiredly looking at me.
"Utang pa rin naman yan, Maeve." He whispered.
"Well, at least there's no interest. Also, I won't pressure you into paying." I tried pursuing him.
"Let's stop talking about this." Pagod nitong sabi.
I sighed, "I understand you... I respect that you don't want to borrow it from me. It's just that, it's hard to see you like this and I can't do anything. I should be helping you, I should atleast make life easier for you, Cai."
He closed his eyes, "It's not that I don't want to ask for your help, ayaw lang talaga kitang masali pa dito. And I want to solve all of this on my own. Problema ko to, namin. Kaya... I want this problem to be ours only."
BINABASA MO ANG
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