My Little Pony: Issues are Magic

Another One

It was the night before Nightmare Night, Callisto' 1537th birthday, and the 5th anniversary of Princess Luna's return. The Royal Family is having dinner, and it gets interrupted by the disease stricken King Phantom saying,

"Long live the king, and, stay chaotic my friends!"

And then he died on the table.

"Well what a horrible way to ruin dinner." Princess Celestia said.

"AUNT CELESTIA!" Callisto screamed.

"What? I cope with humor." Celestia replied.

"Can all of you shut the fuck up so I can call 911?" Luna said.

Callisto burst into tears.

"HE WAS SO YOUNG" She screamed.

"He was 10,000 years old, Dear." Relay said.

"What the fuck just happened." Sulfur exclaimed.

Just then, Celestia went into labor.

"No, fuck this I'm done. I'm going to my room." Sulfur said.

"Goodnight Sulfur!!" Callisto said.

"There's only room for one pony in the ambulance Tia." Luna said.

"HE'S ALREADY FUCKING DEAD, THERES NO BRINGING HIM BACK!!" Celestia Screamed.

Zippo was having a panic attack.

"WELL, TIA, I'M SORRY THAT I'M ONE OF THE ONLY FUCKING PEOPLE WHO CARED ABOUT HIM. and also maybe I don't want a DEAD FUCKING BODY ON MY KITCHEN TABLE." Luna screamed.

"Okay. Fucking fine. Zippo, grab the Rolls Royce." Celestia said.

"On it Boss." They said, going to the garage.

Celestia teleported away.

"Now, what the fuck do we do about Phantom." Luna said, looking at Sacred, Callisto, and Relay.

"I know a gal." Callisto said.

"You know, I've known you so long that i'm not even suprised anymore." Relay said.

Callisto dialed a number on her phone.

"Spirit Soothers quick funeral services! How can I help you today" The voice on the phone said.

"Hey Spirit, It's Callisto. My uncle died on the kitchen table and we kinda don't know what to do with him." Callisto said.

"Hello Best Friend! A royal death? I've never taken care of one of those before! I'll be right over!" Spirit soother said.

"Well, that's taken care of." Callisto said.

"So are we just going to ignore that she called you best friend and you have not mentioned her ONCE in the 14 years we've known eachother?" Relay said.

"Oh yeah, you're my real best friend, she's just there" Callisto said.

"Here!" Spirit said, carrying a coffin.

"Oh my Celestia, thank you Spirit!" Luna said.

As Luna talked with Spirit about funeral arrangements, Callisto asked,

"So, Relay, wheres Phantom's will?" Callisto asked.

"Probably in his lawyers office?? I don't know!" Relay replied.

"I have it." Sacred said.

"Why do you have it?" Relay asked.

"Technically i'm Luna's assistant, but I'm the one who's in charge of keeping her office clean." She replied.