Heart of rainbows || Englot || Completed

Chapter 1: In a happy relationship

Engfa's POV

Everyone has different types of relationships in their lives, and for mine, I happened to be in a healthy relationship with my sweet boyfriend, Tor. Throughout our relationship, there hasn't been a moment where we have disagreements or insecurities because Tor doesn't like to create arguments or take violence to resolve a problem. 

Because of Tor's personality, I have been in a relationship with him for about four years now with no conflicts. Even after dating for so long, I still feel like we're in our honeymoon phase as we act lovey-dovey with each other. I could describe myself as the happiest woman in this world for having such a caring and sweet boyfriend. 

We have such a stable relationship, causing me to completely forgot about my previous experiences with my abusive exes. Tor treated me with too much kindness and showered me with excessive love, making me feel like I was not giving him enough love and passion in return. 

But who knows...maybe I feel this way because all of my exes were very toxic, which causes me to act indifferent towards my boyfriend. I guess my exes screwed me negatively in terms of my mentality and physicality. 

However, although I think like this, what I am aiming for right now is my happiness. Now that the traumatic chapters of my life had closed, it was finally time to move on with someone who could love me for who I am no matter what, and Tor is the one for me. 

He is very kind to me and incredible in taking care of me than I am with me. I couldn't ask for anything more perfect than him as my boyfriend because he was the definition of an ideal boyfriend. Believe it or not, his voice also sounds like a kind person, which sometimes feels like I am the aggressor in the relationship as my voice is deeper than his. 

"Baby, can't you talk rougher than me?!" I forced him as I became frustrated at his soft voice. 

"What do you want me to do, babe?~" Tor talked but sounded like he whispered to me instead.

"Ugh! just be angry with me for once!!" I shouted so that he could fight back. Yet, he still acts the same way as before.

"Babe~why would I have to get angry at you when you didn't do anything wrong?" He explained with no anger detected on his face. 

At this point, I was the one who was angry instead of him, and so I gave up just like I usually do every time I tried to trigger him. Obviously, we were happy thanks to him, who always tried to unsee every flaw I have or will have in the future. 

I said before that I was happy with Tor, and we did communicate well with each other. He was perfect for me, but why do I sometimes feel like my heart gives up?

Nothing seems to convince me that I love him more than he loves me. It is always he who takes the initiative in our relationship. 

Tor entrusts every part of his heart to me, but why do I feel something is missing or is it because I am just not used to the overflowing love and kindness given to me?

Author's note:

I picked a song that suited this chapter. Enjoy reading!

Ps: I decided to publish each chapter ASAP because I can't bear writing this book when there's Englot's drama...it just ruined my mood during the writing process...