Heart of rainbows || Englot || Completed

Chapter 8: A mutual connection

Engfa's POV

From that day, we secretly texted each other whenever we had time so she wouldn't feel lonely. As we kept texting, I discovered that Char had been in a relationship with Win for about a year, and they met online, where Win pursued her via private message. 

Char narrated her love life, where she loves him because he is very protective of her and can depend on him emotionally, mainly after her parents died in a car accident a year ago.  

Now, I understand why Char seems reluctant to escape from Win. She saw Win as someone who could fill up her emptiness and make her feel loved and safe in the absence of her parents. I must say that Win completely takes control of her emotional dependency, which Char needed to realise at one point. 

I think I have to talk to Char about her true feeling. Her love towards Win is not 'love'. It is far from love, it's reliance on someone to feel loved. At the same time, as I listened to her story, I had the time to reevaluate my relationship, where I also depended on Tor, so I didn't feel lonely. 

Do I really love Tor? 

As far as I know, I am the type to give and take, and whenever Tor says something sweet, I always return the favour. But is it out of convenience, or do I mean what I say or do to my boyfriend? 

Anyway, I wanted to know how Char perceives her love story...

(Texting)

Engfa🦁: By the way, do you have time today to hang out? It's fine with me if you can't make it.

Charlotte🐰: Actually, Win was just about to go on a work trip for a week. So, I am free now. 

Engfa🦁: Alright, then! Meet me at a coffee shop near your house. 

Charlotte🐰: Okay! See you soon!

...

Later that afternoon, I arrived at the cafe earlier than our meeting time, but I didn't expect to see her already there, sitting while sipping her latte. 

"Woah! someone is early..." I teased Char.

"Well, you are early too, so don't blame me," She fought back. 

 I liked to see this side of her, joking and not hiding her true self from me. Once I ordered my coffee, I returned to our table and started talking. 

"So...your boyfriend is away?" I restated what she said earlier in the chat. 

"Can we stop talking about Win for a second? I am here to hang out with you, not to have a conversation about him," She lowkey looked annoyed. 

I was taken aback when she said that, and now I am scared. But she recognised and apologised to me straight away.

"I am sorry if I am a little carried away..." She looked down at her head, feeling ashamed about her action.

"Hey, don't be sorry... I totally understand why you say that. But you know you can tell me everything, right... if there's anything wrong," I tried to become understanding.

"I know... sometimes, I want to have a day where I don't have to think about my boyfriend. It's tiring... I have to put on a happy face every time I am with him just so people don't suspect that I am actually dying inside," She opened up.

"I get what you meant... I did feel that way sometimes with Tor... it's like I feel subconsciously stressed when I am around him because of the constant love I receive from him. When I am in a relationship with him, I always have to look out for potential threats in case something goes wrong in our lives, which can be mentally and physically exhausting." I speak up my mind.  

"Are we really in love with our boyfriends?" We said the same things at the same time. 

At this moment, we were both surprised at how in sync we were and laughed out loud.  

Author's note:

A song for today's chapter is below👇Enjoy reading!