Heart of rainbows || Englot || Completed

Chapter 30: Heartbroken

Charlotte's POV

When she kissed me, I knew I was no longer seeing her as my best friend because my heart raced like it was about to explode anytime soon.

Not to mention, out of every kiss I've experienced so far, this kiss stayed with me for a couple of hours, as if I needed time to process every moment I had with Fa. 

I've never encountered anything quite like this kiss. It was simple yet hot at the same time, with a bit of tongue involved. And the kiss was enough to keep me sane for the next few hours as I felt butterflies in my stomach, trying to contain my heart from skipping a beat. 

Even so, things are not what they seem when the moment slowly fades away as soon as she removes herself from me, making me think that she doesn't feel the spark like me.

And I was right when she started to speak about her unfavourable opinion about her current feelings. 

At that moment, I wanted to leave from here, knowing that Fa didn't feel the same way as me. I understand her and am not upset at her for not wanting to be with me because she only sees me as her best friend. 

When I left her house, I didn't feel anything after that. Maybe that's why I didn't realise the tears lingered on my cheek when my heart started to feel like it's been ripped out from my body.

The level of pain I felt was so hurtful. Even though I don't own her yet, it hurts just as bad because I know I will lose her forever. 

I am not regretting my decision to confess my feeling; rather, I was mistaken, thinking she fell for me too. 

This is why I didn't want to fall in love... because love could bring unbearable pain, not because they hurt you, but because she doesn't love you the same way as you. But I couldn't care less. She's special to me, and if her happiness means not wanting to be with me, I am more than ready to leave her alone. 

...

After crying all night, I thought that maybe I was better off gone from here, knowing it was impossible to be together. I had no reason to stay.

And I knew that to get rid of my feeling and my mind of her, the best choice would be to distance myself from her in the hope that I could alleviate my pain and forget about Fa for good.

I don't care how long it takes for me to heal, but I know I wanted her to be happy with someone she loves. 

Watching the night pass, I just wish I could run through my memories with her again. With all the good memories I had with her, I hope I made the right decision. 

But Fa's last word kept replaying in my head, making my heart break for the second time as I fell on my bed. Slowly, I closed my eyes to soothe the heartache until I fell asleep at 4 am. 

...

The next day, I woke up with sudden adrenaline to my memory lane of what had happened yesterday. Right then, I forced myself to detach my feeling from my heart and hurriedly booked a last-minute flight to anywhere far from here. 

To my surprise, I got the notice from the airport that they only accept bookings for their flight next week because most of the long-journey flights have been cancelled due to the bad weather season. 

This means that I have to wait until another week to go off-grid. So, for the time being, I just spend my misery in bed and eating snacks cause I can't bother myself to cook while I am still heartbroken. 

...

Before I left my country, Heidi sent me to the airport even though she made multiple attempts to make me stay. I think she sensed that I would not be back anytime soon. 

"Char...you should reconsider your choice and stay...if you really love her, you don't have to leave. You could still be normal with her, just like me," Heidi came clean of her genuine feeling. 

"What do you mean by that?" I became confused.

Then, she confessed that she still had feelings for me, but because I was no longer in love with her then, she just settled to stay friends with me to keep me in her life.

"And I still manage to be happy even though I am not with you anymore, and that's fine by me..." She persuaded me. 

"But I am not you..."

Author's note:

I will upload another chapter in 4 hours  or so because I'll be busy tommorow. Enjoy reading and have a listen to the song below to soothe your heart😔