Heart of rainbows || Englot || Completed

Chapter 16: We were happy

Engfa's POV

When I got home, Tor was already there, looking distraught. But I ignored it, thinking that it was just another blue Monday for him. 

As I settled on the couch, I began talking about what had happened to Win and his girlfriend. While rattled on the topic, I repeatedly expressed my dissatisfaction towards Win for causing my friend to disappear. I even cussed out because I was mad at Win. 

On the other hand, Tor unexpectedly doesn't say anything about Win's immorality, which makes me think that he was fine with Win behaving like that. However, the more I talk about Win with him, he looks very timid and scared.

"What's wrong, Tor?" I tried to read his mind.   

Without a second thought, he directly apologized to me without telling me why. "I am very sorry, Eng..." He said his sorry.

"What are you sorry for?" I started to freak out.

He hesitated, but in the end, he said, "I am the one who told him about you making friends with Charlotte...because of that, he instantly rushed in to see her and punished her."

"You what!!!" It takes a while to process what he said just now. 

I thought Tor was a nice guy...Because of him, I gained confidence in having a relationship after hesitating countless times, and now this happened. 

"Why are you doing this? I put a lot of trust in you cause I think you are the best decision I have made in my life...Just why?" I don't want to continue any further.

"The same reason as him...I don't like to see you be close to someone other than me. I feel like you will abandon me when you are close to Charlotte, and I don't want that. I kept comparing myself with Win because of my inferiority complex—I see him as my model. He's the one who helped me build my confidence to date you in the first place. But I understand it's my fault," He admitted his wrongdoings. 

"Well, you were right about one thing. I was going to break up with you even before I met with Char. I thought we were happy. Trust me. I am sincere in my feelings for you. Yet, most of the time, you drained me because I could not be constantly happy all the time. My life isn't all bright, and your being nice to me makes me think that you want something in return. I just can't be myself when I am with you because you're not being truthful to yourself. That's why most of the time, you come off as pretentious and boring to me."  I said what I had to say. 

Then I added, "And you being an accomplice to Win validated my statement about you for not being honest. So, please, I beg you...if you love me, break up with me and don't you ever see me again."

"Babe, please give me another chance to make things right. I know I am wrong, but you are not a saint for not telling me about your true feelings either..." He shifted the blame on me. 

"Boy, I already know I am not a saint. That's why I am breaking up with you. So, please go away from my life," I ridiculed when he tried to gaslight me. 

Later, he left my house full of regrets, knowing I would not forgive him anytime soon because he knew me well enough. 

Now that I had lost my friend and boyfriend, my mind went blank, and I did not know what to do with my life anymore. Is this an impulsive decision from me? 

I feel trapped, knowing that he is capable of disappointing me. If he shared the same mindset as Win, who knows if Tor's not going to copy his best friend's behaviour and does them to me? 

More importantly, I only see Tor's good side, but I don't know who he really is behind the scenes. 

Author's note:

Is Engfa making the right decision y'all?