Reflection ☄︎ 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝐋𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐧

𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐞

--☄︎. *. ⋆·˚ ༘ * --

Amira isn't the best at keeping secrets.

For example, she had been the one to let it slip that Amos was attracted to Ophelia. Hence their current relationship. She was also the one that let it slip that Regulus Black hides a stash of weed in the library. But...you didn't hear that from me.

But she did have one secret and she kept that hidden very well.

Absolutely NO ONE but the Scavengers knew she brewed the Hospital Wing's supply of Wolfsbane and why.
She made sure to be absolutely careful when ordering ingredients and when brewing in the Room of Requirement.

But her inability to keep secrets made it impossible for her to keep her emotions a secret. Especially towards a certain Remus John Lupin.

"You alright there, hurricane?" Ted sat down next to the girl while she brewed.

She looks up, "Yeah, I'm alright. Why? Do I not look okay? Do I look tired? Because I swear I'm okay. I'm sleeping fine. Yeah. Yeah." She rambled and Ted just thought BINGO!

"What's wrong Ames?" She put down the wooden spoon and rested her head on his shoulder.

"When did you know you were falling for Andy?"

Ted will be honest and say he was a bit taken aback. Amira rarely asked for advice. But her demeanor seemed to waiver at her unsureness in this prospect. Ted thought about all the secret nights and stolen kisses and smiled before turning to the younger Hufflepuff.

"I can't remember. But there's just something about her that makes me feel all gooey. Like if she asked me to jump into the Black Lake naked, I would do it just to make her happy."

Amira stopped stirring and pondered on this. She often felt gooey. But she hadn't felt like this before so who's to say it really is a gooey feeling.
"Are you in love, Teddy?"

"I am. Deeply. Madly. Unconditionally."

"Is it scary?"

"To fall in love?" Amira nodded, "Not at all. It's sort of feels like a warm knitted blanket. It's stable and safe. Why are you asking me this?"

Amira cleared her throat and started fixing the empty vials that once contained valuable ingredients, "No reason, just curious."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"It's okay to have vulnerable feelings. I know you feel the need to be happy and positive. But I saw your face when what's-his-face stood you up. It's okay to get hurt." Ted reached over and grabbed her hand, "just as long as you remember that it doesn't make you any less of a person."

~

Amira walked down the corridors by herself for the rest of the day, pondering. She felt something but she was afraid to verify it.

After all, she was just Amira, who would ever take a proper liking to her?

She was loud, naive, ludicrous, too kind, too trusting, too caring, too positive.
She was too much.

Amira remembered in Second Year when a group of Fifth-year Slytherins told her to stop skipping in the hallways.
"Look at the little girl! Aww skipping and the like."
"Grow up!"

It had bothered her for a very long time. She felt that there was no reason to be hated on for trying to be happy. Amira had managed to push away those feelings but now she could help but ponder: were they right? Am I just too much?

That left her thinking about Remus. And the way he always folded the corners of his books when he wanted to remember a certain page. Or the way he would carry around those funny quills, pens, he had called them and their colourful counterpart, highlighters.

She loved borrowing a book from him and seeing his thoughts and opinions sprawled across the pages. She adored the way he became quite rambunctious when she asked him about the novel he was reading. The way his laugh seemed to bounce off walls and envelope the room made her head explode.

She loved the way his eyes seemed to dance with light when she saw him. Her heart would explode when he would move his chair closer to her. Amira couldn't help but swoon at his chivalry, when he would open doors for her and pull out her chairs so that she may sit.

All of these things caused an ache in her heart that could only be fixed if she saw him right there and then.

But Amira could never truly be with Remus. Even if she wanted to.... because she doesn't fancy him...but if she did, it wouldn't work. Because she had the Scavengers to think about.

Would he judge Wally? Would she judge her? For being friends with Wally? Would he judge Ted for living with a single mother?

Those thoughts alone brought her blood to boil. It brought angry tears to her eyes. She scolded herself for thinking in such a way. Her overthinking would only be disastrous. Amira wiped her tears away.

But, Remus would never judge. Right? He was far too good to judge or push her away for something like that.

At least, that's what Amira hoped when she went back to the Room of Requirement to finish the Hospital Wing's supply of Wolfsbane.

What would Remus Lupin say to her right now?

--☄︎. *. ⋆·˚ ༘ * --

W.N. ~ I know Amira falls into the classic Hufflepuff trope but I quite like that about her. They're in a time of war and one can only hope for a bit of light.