The Menaces Babysitter Toji Fushiguro x reader

18 Pride is the Devil

The following car ride was awkward. Maybe more so, tense. 

Your tears had calmed, breaths evened out, but your mind was going a million miles an hour. 

It was silent between you and Toji. 

Was it anger, fear, or relief? 

It was midday.  Maybe nearing the evening.  The sun was still shining.  You drove past people walking about enjoying their day.

It made it feel like it was a dream.

Toji stopped the car at the grocery store around the corner to the apartment.

"Oi."

You felt his stare on you.

You weren't ready for a conversation.

You were so relieved to have gotten there in time. Before he was killed.
But you were so pissed. So mad that he would do that. Put his life in danger like that. Put Megumi in that situation. For what?  Pride for winning? You wanted to know he was alive but you wanted nothing more than to kill him right now.

"Megumi is alone. We have to go back."

The car was started again.

"Megumi we're back!" You called, a quick piter patter of feet following.

"That was forever..." Megumi quieted,  watching his father silently walk into the bathroom, an awful aura following him.  Meanwhile, you had a bit of blood dribbling from your neck, collecting on the neck of your shirt.  His eyes widened, "You're bleeding!"

You chuckled, even though it came out a bit strained, "Yeah it's okay, I walked into a pole!"

"Is it okay?" Megumi frowned, walking forward to hold your hand.

"Just fine Gumi, don't worry about it. Once I clean it up you'll see it's hardly anything!" You walked with him to the kitchen, using a rag to wipe the blood. "Were you okay here Gumi? Sorry we were gone so long."

"Mhm."  He mumbled shakily.

You smiled sadly, "Really Megumi, it's okay.  Okay?"

"Okay."  He whispered.

"Let's watch some cartoons and relax, yeah?"

Your mind was definitely not focused on cartoons, and you doubted Megumi's was either with how many side glances he threw you. 

Not only that, but the tension rose dramatically when Toji sat on the other end of the couch.  And it hung in the air with silence.

So many questions continued popping up in your head it felt like the room was spinning.

What the absolute fuck came out of you?!

I'm not a fucking octopus!

And now they were just gone!  You were to afraid to even attempt trying to get them back. Not only that, but Megumi had something like an aura surrounding him, as did people you passed on the street, but for some reason Toji didn't.

You didn't even want to get started on the matter of Toji.

Oh but you wanted so badly to shove your foot up his ass.

Alas, that scolding would have to wait until Megumi was tucked in.

The night was a bit crisp, but your mind was clustered enough to not notice it.  You and Toji stood on the balcony, watching traffic fly by in momentary silence. 

"Couple hours, hm?"  You said sarcastically.

"To be fair, I didn't get that job offer until after I left.  That wasn't a lie." 

"To bE fAiR."  You mocked, shooting him a glare.  "I don't even know where to start.  What were you doing there exactly?"

Toji quickly realized he would yet again not be able to charm himself out of this.

"Those people are sorcerers.  I kill them."  He said flatly.

"Shouldn't have started there."  You muttered, resting your forehead on your folded arms.  "And forgive me if I'm wrong, but your moral compass is grey?"  It came out more as a statement than you intended.

The silence was as much as a response you needed.

"You cut that boys throat?"

"You would have killed that girl if I hadn't interrupted too."

"Are you prideful or just stupid?"

"I'm starting to think a mix of both." Toji mumbled.

You scoffed, "Ya think? Were you thinking about what would have happened if you died? Then and there. Without Megumi, without me, alone with your victor looking over you. A real stupid, prideful way to die huh? Because I have no doubt you both had intentions to go that far."

"I'm sorry."

You couldn't help the tears welling up in your eyes. "I wanna go to bed."

You meant every word you said. And yet, for some reason guilt was eating at you. Really, you knew you could have been more harsh, so why did you feel that way?

Was it pride?

Was it stupidity?

Or is it something else? Your heart broke at the thought. Toji came from a shitty family, and the scar on his lip proved it to be more than mental abuse. His wife died leaving him to take care of a baby he surely had no idea what to do with.

But does past trauma excuse being a killer?

You didn't want to fully accept that as how he makes a living. After all, you have no idea how those people work. Having...magic powers or whatever. Maybe there's like sides and this happens all the time? Maybe it's not such a big deal?

You cursed yourself.

Does someone like Toji deserve forgiveness? Does he deserve comfort?

You couldn't come to an answer. Despite Toji causing almost nothing but problems since being around, he has somehow wormed his way into your heart. Were you too biased to make that choice?

You groaned, shoving your face into the couch.

This is fucking stupid

In the midst of the night Megumi peeked out of the bedroom, blanket trailing behind him. He sleepily wobble over, throwing the blanket over and cuddling up to you.