Hobi's Demands • JHS

Fifty

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"Slow Motion" by Charlotte Lawrence

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"You're all that I think about, I even see you when I'm dreaming."

"I wish that I could hate you my baby, I wish that when I'd left you'd have chased me."

"I didn't want to change but you made me."

"I don't believe that you ever really loved me, I made believe that you cared when you touched me."

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Seven Months Later

You woke screaming the word 'liar' for the second time that week. Your body shaking with an anger that wouldn't go away. You sat up sweating and left the bed immediately transferring to your stool and headphones. The loud beats soothed the thoughts away, the comforting padded cups keeping the noise inside.

There were days you felt nothing, didn't think about any of them at all, just toiled through your job, climbed the flights of stairs to your tiny apartment, ate your meager dinner. Most days you didn't have the energy after working in the grocery store then waitressing at the cafe to do much else.

The afternoon didn't improve, between your jobs you stopped by the visa office near your apartment. Yours was expiring and you couldn't imagine going back to Korea, you'd already received one small extension, you had to beg for another.

"The extension will be six hundred thousand yen. It has to be paid within thirty days or you have to leave." The lady spoke slowly, and even with your poor understanding of the Japanese language you caught the gist.

You only had about a third of that and rent was due in less than a week. It was hard to find a job here, you'd bounced through every manual labor position you could find but most fired you after a couple months. You were a foreigner and your education and skills apparently didn't count for much.

Back in your apartment you considered your options, but after your nightmare you knew you couldn't go back. It was possible to choose another country, but you'd run into the same issues eventually. You'd considered calling your father in Hong Kong, but couldn't work up the nerve.

You pulled out your phone, the number had been changed, so you no longer received messages. You dialed and held your breath.

"Hello?"

"Channie! Thank you for answering."

"Fucking hell Y/N! You just disappeared, where are you?" He sounded angry but also concerned and you felt tears starting.

"I needed space, I can't talk about why I left okay?" You regretted calling at all but you needed his help.

"Suyee said something about a disagreement with your Appa and an employer, she was vague. You know he asks me all the time if I've heard from you." You bit your lip, allowing him to scold you and choosing to not defend yourself.