Excerpts I'll Never Tell

Space Song

It seems you've forgotten, and that's okay. This makes this my safe haven again. To write. To feel. Right now, I feel pain.

I can't tell if this is all my decision or if it was secretly yours. Something that was planned. It's funny that it hurts. Maybe I was numb for a while, just feeling it all out, going back and forth. Now I'm here... 12:37 am. Crying.

You're a stranger.

It hurt a lot. I don't know why it took weeks for me to feel it. Maybe I thought my birthday would strike something, but it didn't. Nothing came. Nothing happened.

I decided a long time ago that it was one action you would take, and I would do it all. Proof that it was real. But it never came. I knew I couldn't tell you directly. I couldn't make it easy. It wasn't to play games but to give me the certainty that it was real.

Here I am. Vulnerable, dumb, and regressing.

The signs come in waves; I can't tell if it's because I'm subconsciously looking. I just know it hurts. A long time ago, I would've jumped; it was your turn.

"Alexa, play a random song." : "Someone said they left together. I ran out the door to get her..."

Looking at the songs, seeing you're no longer there.

I light three candles; the one goes out on its own.

What's meant to be will be, and I will let it go. The best outcome. What is meant to be, let it happen.

Goosebumps. This is okay.