Excerpts I'll Never Tell

Highway to the Stars

Yeah, we're golden, baby girl, we're golden...

The hurricane rages on outside, and I am here with the stinging burn of my hand and the thoughts that race. I listen for that strike and boom and watch as the streets flood from way up above. The startling signs that keep making their way to me, as I am sure it's continental-the irrational planning and sudden jumps that don't happen.

The severe weather is not just out there but in here, too. The swirling of a tornado in my chest and the downpour that creeps and aches. It's fragile and annoying, really. These feelings that rise on their head haven't been here in a long time. The ache, the ache I tried desperately to get rid of long before.

"Back when I lost you when we were young, I always had this ache that just knawed in my chest. Repetitively. I couldn't get it to go away for years at a time, or it would, and just something would remind me of you, and it would slam into me again. And now? I didn't have it for a while; last year, before February, I did, but now? Jesus Christ. It's that agonizing thing that pops up with those invasive thoughts that make you question so much. What could you have done differently? Was it real, those types, you know?"

Unfortunately, when I write, it's only in the grips of intense emotion. Unfortunately for you, you've been my main focus or work of art, if you will. I bet you would have loved to hear that "so infatuated with yours truly," lol.

It's a risk but, what are risks for? The only thing I can do now is make it happen.