Reese

Chapter 19 - Here comes the pity party

Eleanor's P.O.V

1 Week later

Thursday 27th January

"How's she doing?" Katie asked down the phone, they were now in Mississippi and the fact that Liam was now back touring with them, the headlines seemed to have calmed down. 

I sighed, "The last time I checked on her was this morning. Katie, I'm really worried, she hasn't eaten anything other than a can of sweetcorn in four days." I whispered to her.

Katie gasped, "Four days?! But she was fine when I left? Urgh, I knew I should've stayed with her!" She cursed, I heard Niall come into her room. Muttering reassuring things into her ear.

"No, it's good you went back to America. You need to keep up the income that Reese isn't bringing in. And I know, ever since he left I think it's just become more and more real for her... that he's actually gone."

"Reese is getting worse, she hasn't eaten anything except some sweetcorn for four days." I heard Katie inform Niall.

"Babe, it's going to be okay. Let me talk to Eleanor, please?" He whispered, I heard some rustling before Niall's voice ran over my ears.

"Hi, Eleanor." He stated, and then I heard the door slam closed where he was.

"Is she really that bad?" He asked, his voice hushed so that Katie couldn't hear him.

I nodded, my voice breaking "Yeah, I don-don't know what to do." I sobbed, trying to pull myself together. I really need Louis right now.

I felt how awkward Niall was feeling because he was coughing every now and then. "Tell Louis to call me later, okay?" I asked him.

"Sure." There was a smile in his tone. "El, it's going to be alright."

"Thanks." I chuckled before hanging up.

I wondered around Mark's house for a bit, trying to determine whether to check on her again. I will, I will check on her again. I need to get some sort of reaction out of her.

 Reese's P.O.V

I have heard, that when you are suffering from a broken heart, you do not feel a thing. You are just a body filled with empty space. You are completely numb, from the top of your hair, to the ends of your toe nails.

That is utter bullshit.

There is not a single emotion that I am not feeling. Except anything positive, I haven't felt anything remotely positive in... I can't even remember the last time I felt positive.

I shuffled slightly as I sat on my bed in Mark's spare room, my feet tangled within the unwashed sheets but my eyes remained focused on the cream wall in front of me. I haven't slept, I haven't eaten, I haven't even stepped out of the room. If I think about it, I feel my throat start to become dangerously dry and my stomach starts to growl, but I don't want to eat or drink. I don't deserve it.

So I just sit here, in complete darkness. Day in, day out, watching a wall.

I haven't allowed myself to cry, what goo would that do? Crying just means you're giving up and can't deal with it anymore. No, I am strong. I do not need to cry, I don't need to let my feelings out. I can handle it, I have to handle it.

As I was staring at the wall, confused as to whether I was actually awake or just asleep with my eyes open -There really isn't much difference, I'm an emotional, empty space either way. A strip of artificial light shone into my bedroom, I didn't even blink. My eyes just adjusted to the stinging sensation and carried on staring at the wall.