Adopted But Not Saved

Perfect Time

(Ava's POV*)

I move my arm a little to see if they are still here, and they aren't. I slowly stand up in pain, and limp to my room. The mess from last night is all cleaned up.

I walk out into the living room to see Nick and Amanda snuggling on the couch asleep.

Perfect.

This is the perfect time.

The perfect time to release my pain.

I have not done this in a while, but also have not had the urge to in a while.

I used to when people made fun of me at the orphanage, I used to cut.

I walk to Amanda's bathroom and searched the draws for something sharp, all I found were nail clippers. That won't work.

I look inside the cabinet, and find scissors, and that meets my approval. I shut the door and lock it. I look in the mirror at myself.

I always thought I was decent looking, I guess not. I must be ugly if my parents got rid of me.

One cut.

I look at my stomach, it says adopted. It is true. I wouldn't usually care, but since my parents gave me up, it bothers me.

Another cut.

I remember the bullying at school, at what they said to me.

One more cut.

I think back to when Mr. Michaels raped me, twice.

Another cut.

And then it hits me. Mr. Michaels is my uncle, and my parents are still alive. With a baby boy. My brother, who is living the life. He gets to stay with my parents. MY PARENTS. And how they might know that he raped me. Maybe they told him to rape me.

I do 3 more cuts, and then one deep one.

Blood seeps out and lands in the sink. I hurts so bad, but I a weird way, it feels good.

I am so caught up in cutting, I don't hear Amanda until she knocks on the door.

"Ava, are you in there?" She asked. Oh no. She is going to find out what I have done. Crap.

I turn on the faucet and run the warm water over my cuts. I wince in pain.

"Yes, I will be out in a second." I say holding back tears. I grab the paper towel and dry the blood, but it won't stop bleeding on the deep cut.

"Ava, are you okay?" She asked.

"Yup. Just one minute." I say lightly crying and panicking.

"Ava, let me in." She says.

"No wait."

"I am coming in." She says as she unlocks and opens the door. She notices my arms. I start to sob and I fall to the ground, my back up against the wall.

She grabs a towel, and wraps it around my wrist.

"Oh baby, what did you do?" She asked as she sat next to me on the floor holding my wrist tightly. She wrapped her other arm around me and moved her legs so that I was sitting in between them. I continued to sob.

"Why did they give me up?" I cried.

"I don't know, but we will find them. I promise. Why did you do this?" She asked.

"It makes the pain go away." I sobbed harder.

"I know, shh.. It will be okay." She said as she stood up, not letting go of my wrist, and getting an ace bandage.

She wrapped my wrist, now I have 2 ace bandages on 1 arm. From last night too.

We both stood up. She wrapped her arms around me, "Promise me you will never do that again?"

"But-"

"Promise me."

"I promise." I whispered hugging her back.

"Good, now come on. All I had to do was pee. Nick left so we have to go to the precinct. We are going to need your help. It will be hard, but you need to try to stay strong. Okay?" I nodded and we both got ready, and left. I guess it really wasn't the perfect time.