Adopted But Not Saved

Months

(Ava's POV*)

It's been months... 

MONTHS.

Since Carisi died. 

After Carisi and I got kidnapped he was fine. Then something went wrong weeks later and he didn't make it.

And i wake up every day, blaming myself.

He would be fine if it wasn't for me. I loved him so much.

Love him so much.

It makes me want to throw up thinking about it. 

It hurts so much.

He is all i think about. 

I can't stop thinking about him. 

Today is the day it is going to end.

The thoughts.

The guilt.

The pain.

The breathing.

My life.

My life is going to end today. 

I feel so bad for Amanda and Nick. And also everyone else who I love and loves me, but i can't do it anymore.

It is too much for me. 

And i am ready.

-------------------------------------------

I am sitting in the bath tub, fully clothed with 3 different pill bottles in my hand. 

I Let the hot water run until it is up to almost my chest. It starts to over flow. And now it is time.

I pop all the pill bottles open and at least 40 pills are in my mouth. I swallow them all gagging only a little.

I already feel them kicking in when i hear knocks at the bathroom door. 

"Ava? You okay." I hear Amanda's voice and Nick outside the door.

I don't respond and i feel the darkness taking over. I hear more mutter and yells from outside the door, and then the door come crashing open. 

And then everything starts to move in slow motion.

"Ava!" I hear Nick yell as he grabs me by under the arms and rips me out of the bath. Amanda reads the bottles and mutters something under her breathe. 

Nick starts to stick his fingers down my throat to get me to throw them up but only a few come up and he curses.

He lays me back down as my head wobbles around. My eyes start to flutter shut and I hear nick calling 911. 

"Ava stay with me." He whispers in my ear. 

"I-love-you-guys." I try to say but it all comes out as stutters and gags. 

"No-no-no-no-no- ava stop, stay with me." Nick says but my eyes are already closed and they are never to open again.

"We love you." Amanda sobs hugging my limp body.

And that is the last thing i hear before the darkness takes over.

Forever.

I will be with Carisi soon. In heaven.

With my dad too. 

But with Carisi.

My father/uncle/bestfriend.

But i will always be thankful for this family.

Have been since they took me home from the foster home.

But my pain, is finally over.

THE END.

I hope you all liked this story! I will be starting a new one soon! Love you all!!!