Adopted But Not Saved

Hallucinations

(Ava'p s POV*)

I sob into Carisi's shirt until he talks to me, he says some deep stuff, that he has said before, but suddenly, i believe him. I slowly start to fall asleep when Carisi moves from underneath me and i sit up straight, still shaking.

"Im sorry, its okay. come on." He motioned for me to lay down next to him because he was just laying down. I do so and rest my head on his chest, i can hear his heart beat. He places his hand on my back and i flinch at the touch of a man. I know this hurts him, but he wants me to get used to it so he keeps his hand on my back, rubbing small circle with his thumb on my shoulder blade. I quickly drift to sleep.

I wake up a few hours later and Carisi is still asleep so i decide to continue to lay there for a few minutes, but i start to have some pains in my stomach, so i start to move, but i push the pain away.

"You okay?" Carisi asks.

"Um... yea, i just need to go to the bathroom." I reply.

"Oh, ok.... come on." He says as he rolls off the side of the bed. He helps me get up and i limp to the bathroom. "Do you need help?"

"No Carisi, i can pee by myself." I say cracking a small smile and smiles back. I pull up gown and stare at myself in the mirror. Im so ugly. I hate myself. I look at the bruises going all the way up my thighs in the shape of hand prints. I place my hand on the bruise in the position it is in and i have a flash back.

I feel a tear run down my face and start to shake. "No." I say out loud. and apparently Carisi heard me.

"You okay Ava?" He asked.

(Carisi's POV*)

She doesnt answer. "Ava?" I ask again. She still doesnt answer. "Ava im coming in." I say as i open the door slowly and per-cautiously. When i look in she is sitting there crying, with her knees pulled into her chest.

"Ava?" I whisper. She looks up at me. She is a hallucinating.

"No please." She tenses up and tries to push her self back even more.

"Ava its me baby. It's okay." I whisper taking a step back.

"Please dont hurt me." She whispers.

"I promise i wont."

"You said that last time!" She yelled.

"Last time? Ava come on its okay. Its me Carisi."

"Please dont do it again. It hurts. You say it wont but it does." This breaks my heart to see her like this. I make a move. I run to her and try to hug her.

"No please stop! Ill do anything!" She yells as she swings at me. I catch her hands and hold them tight. She squeezes her eyes shut and falls to the ground. "Please." She gives in.

"I got you Ava. Its okay." She opens her eyes and i know she isn't hallucinating anymore. I lean in and she rests her head on my shoulder, she is silently crying. I pick her up carefully and lay her in her bed.

"Im so sorry.... I-i didnt know it was you..."

"Its okay Ava. I know. It was the medication." I nod and lay down with her. In about 10 minutes she is asleep again.