Adopted But Not Saved

You don't look fine

(Ava's POV*)

I am sound asleep in Carisi's arms, like a baby, when i hear people screaming.

I quickly open my eyes and sit up and Carisi gets up and runs to the room door.

"You little bitch!" One lady screams.

"You're a murderer!" Another yells.

"You're a sinner!" A man chants.

"You will rot in hell!!" A younger lady yells. They are all look at me. My heart sinks. The nurses are trying to get them under control.

"You deserved to be raped!" Is the last thing i hear before i break down.

Carisi is at the door blocking people from coming in. Nick and Amanda come running down the hall. They start yelling at people to move. Then Nick draws his gun at them.

"Get the fuck back into your rooms, and so help me god if somebody says one more thing, i will arrest you." He screams at the crowd.

I place my hand over my mouth and lightly sob into them. Tears start to fall.

Carisi starts to walk over and hug me but i pull away.

"Are you okay?" I nod fast and get out of bed and run to the bathroom. "Ava!?" He chases after me but i shut the door.

"Let us in" i hear amanda say. I slide down the wall. There scared im gonna hurt myself. Im just going to calm down.

"Guys, im just going to calm down, just leave me alone."

"Ava please." Carisi sobs.

"Jesus christ Carisi, im not gonna kill myself, hop off!" I yell, and i regret it.

They all stop and i know they walk away.

After about 7 mins, i go back to my bed and lay down. Nobody is in the hospital room when i walk back to bed. I lay there for about a minute until another nurse comes in.

"I am so very sorry for that disruption before. I have security members on each patient now until you are able to leave because i don't think it is safe." She says.

"It's fine." 

"Okay well still, sorry. How are you feeling?" She asked. 

"Okay."

"Whats you're last name?" She asked. 

Is i just me or does this nurse seem very interested in me? It's probably just me.

"Umm...-" I was gonna answer when Carisi came walking back in again. 

"Hey..." He whispers coming up next to me and the nurse leaves. He wraps his arms around me. I pull away. I just want to be left alone. 

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Im fine."

"You don't look fine." 

"Then stop looking." I say emotionless. I hate myself. I hate everything. I can tell this hurts him, but i don't care. I hear his footsteps as he walks out of the room. 

After he leaves, Amanda comes walking in a minute later. "Ava, we need to talk." She says... Great... more talks.

"About what?" I sigh still staring blankly at the wall emotionless.

"You know what." Everything went silent. "Ava, when i adopted you, I wanted to adopted you as a sister, but now, you are more than that, you are my best friend. And i am pretty sure Carisi and the others would say the same. We all love you, and i know we say it a lot, and that you might think it is bullshit, but we do and nothing can change that." I look at her, one tear escaped my eyes. 

"Carisi stormed out of the hospital just now, he told me what you said." She finishes.

"Does he hate me?" I ask scared that the answer is yes.

"No, he loves you a lot. But he just left because he knows we are all here, and you are still scared and in emotional pain, because that guy is not put away yet. So that is where he is going, to find your Uncle."

"Amanda?" I ask.

"Yea?"

"He is no uncle. Carisi, Nick, Fin, and even Barba are my Uncles, but that man, is the furthest thing from it." I say as tears build in my eyes. Amanda brings me into a hug, and it feels greats. When she lets go, i whip my eyes and sigh.

"when can we leave?" I say.

"Today is you are feeling up to it." 

"Yea, can we now?"

"Sure." She nod as she helps me out of the hospital bed and helps me change. Then we go to her car and i get in the passenger side door. We don't go back to Amanda's house though, we go to the precinct. We go up stairs, and i see the rest of the squad working, and Carisi staring at me. I walk up to him.

"Im sorry." I sigh looking down at the ground.

"It's all good Ava. I love you."

"I love you too."I say as i walk to the desk Nick is at and sit next to him.

"You gave us a scare." He sighs talking about my most recent trip to the hospital. 

"One of many." I crack a smile and so does he. Then Carisi finishes writing on the white board and turns around.

"Okay guys, lets get this son of a bitch."