Autumn Showers

63- The one with the final therapy session

A/N: We have skipped forward a few months to the summer, as this is 2nd to last chapter

A nervous smile appears on my lips as I sit down at the same chair, I've been sitting in for almost a year now. Only this time the clock isn't ticking at me tauntingly, it's going faster than I would like.

'Autumn, you look absolutely radiant today!' Claudia greets as she walks into the room with a mug in her hands.

'Thank you! W-We're having a going away party for one of my friends after this, he's travelling around Asia for a year.'

'How exciting, how do you feel about the prospect of him moving?'

I shrug, 'I was a little bummed out at first, but I know that he is truly a friend that I will keep forever, so I know the distance doesn't really matter.'

'Is this Samuel?'

'Sammy but yes.'

'You're also moving to New York next week, how are you feeling about that?'

'A-Actually I'm really excited, I thought I would be terrified of leaving a town I've known forever but I-I'm actually kind of relieved that I can start fresh somewhere completely new.'

'You're moving in with your friend, aren't you?'

A warm smile etches onto my face, 'Yeah, Scarlett. Did I mention that she was having a baby?'

Claudia's eyebrows knit together, 'I don't think that you did. Will you two still be living together when the baby arrives?'

'Y-Yeah at-least for the first few months, I didn't want her to feel like she was going this alone. And I wanted to support her.'

'That's very kind of you.'

My shoulders shrug once again, 'She makes me want to be a kinder person.'

The dark-haired woman nods as a small smile works its way onto her face, 'How are things going with your boyfriend? The last time we spoke about him, you were nervous about being intimate together.'

My cheeks flush at the thought of Lucas and I being physical together, 'W-We're doing really well, he's really respectful and I haven't felt pressured or rushed into doing something I'm not comfortable with.'

'That's good, have you been able to talk to him about your past trauma at all?'

I nod, 'Y-Yeah, he's known about it for a while. He was really understanding, h-his mom went through something similar when she was younger, so I think that kind of helps for him to know that if I do freeze up or panic, that I don't want to be touched. I kind of just need to be left alone for a little bit.'

'I'm very glad that you've found someone who is so aware and sensitive towards your boundaries. How about your other friend, you haven't mentioned him in a while?'

I wince, 'W-We don't really speak to Toby anymore.'

Claudia frowns, 'How come?'

I pick the inside of my nails, 'H-He ended up overdosing on pills, l-luckily, he was fine but he's in rehab now. Despite all of the shitty things that he's said, we all go to visit him once every fortnight. We try to bring him different activities to do. I-I think for someone to do that they must be in a lot of pain and speaking from experience, when you're dealing with a lot of hurt in your heart, you can end up hurting those closest to you.'

'I must say Autumn, I'm very proud of you. You are an entirely different girl to the one who walked into my office eleven months ago.'

Tears prick the corner of my eyes, 'T-Thank you.'

'How are you feeling about leaving Oliva and Winter?'

A heavy feeling anchors down on my chest, 'Pretty shitty to be honest, I know two hours isn't that far away but I-I actually kind of have a family now which is something I never thought that I would be able to say, even know it still feels bizarre. And I'm going to really miss them. But Winter has a cheerleading competition in a few weeks, so I'll be coming back here to watch her. I wouldn't miss that for the world.'

A happy sigh leaves her lips, 'So, I actually read something very exciting today.'

I tilt my head slightly, 'You did?'

She nods excitedly as she walks towards her desk and picks up a magazine, 'I'm an avid reader of women's right's magazines and this one article kind of took my breath away.'

'W-What article?'

'It was called the word victim is misused, I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor by Autumn Martin.'

Hot tears pool in my eyes as a small squeal escapes my lips, I quickly grab the magazine of her as a small sob leaves my lips.

'Oh my god.'

'I'm very impressed, it's extremely rare that I read a piece of journalism that actually moves me to tears.'

'Oh my god.' I cry out as I clutch the magazine close to my chest, 'T-They fucking published it!'

Claudia sends me a bright grin, 'Autumn, you are going to make a wonderful journalist.'

The feeling of enchantment dances around my body as I realise that my words could potentially be read by women and men everywhere who have suffered the same pain that I have. That my voice could actually reach people in need.

'T-Thank you Claudia, for everything.'

'You don't need to thank me honey, it was in you all long.'

'I-I never thought I'd say this but I'm actually going to kind of miss these sessions.'

'I'm not and do you want to know why?'

'W-Why?'

'Because the fact that you don't need them anymore, shows how far you've come. So, I may miss you, but I won't miss these sessions.'

I sniff loudly, 'God, Claudia. You are such a softie!'

'Only for the right kind of clients.'

I give her a warm smile, 'I truly am thankful for everything, without your words I don't think I would have been able to push myself to befriend all of these people who helped to mend my heart.'

'I know you are. Now get going, you've got a party to attend to!'

My eyebrows knit together, 'B-But we still have another half an hour left.'

'Autumn, do you feel as if you need this next half an hour?'

'N-No I don't think I do.'

'Then go and if you ever need me while I'm in New York. I'm only a phone call away.'

A tearful grin appears on my face as I stand up, 'Thank you again.'

'Good luck! I can't wait to read your next article.'

'I'll send it to your office!'

'You best do!'

The second I leave her office, I'm left with a sense of relief. I actually did, I was able to keep on top of my counselling sessions. And even though I know logically, there's a chance that I will still need them in the future, this wasn't going to just disappear. It was an indication that I was finally starting to heal. 

When I step outside, I'm meet with a whimsical summer breeze that causes my white dress to lift up slightly, my cheeks burn as I quickly try to pull it down. The moment that I reach my car, a small laugh escapes from my lips before I pull out my phone and dial a familiar number.

'Hello?'

'If you tell anyone about this, you're dead. But I've got a flat tire could you give me a ride?'

 A high-pitched laugh echoes the line, 'I'll be right there, Autie.'