Autumn Showers

15- The one with the bonfire part 1

I feel a hand touch my shoulder as I shove my books into my locker, I startle at the sudden touch, my hands clam up. Slight relief floods inside of me as I see Toby standing there with a lazy smile on his face.

'Dude, I just wanted to check that you where okay. Emma was totally out of fucking line yesterday; your sexual life is your business. Nothing makes you a slut.'

Part of me wanted to scream at him and correct him, to tell him that it wasn't what it appeared to be. But the more logical side of me knew, that he was just trying to make me feel better, he had no idea what I've been through.

I give him a small smile, which is filled with genuine gratitude, 'Thanks Tobes, I'm fine though. Honestly.'

I'm not, I'm not fine at all.

But Toby didn't deserve to be burdened with the thoughts that where slowly consuming me, no-one did.

His smile widens, 'Dude, you just called me Tobes! We are like actual friends now, nickname basis and everything. I was actually starting to worry you didn't like me.'

I laugh slightly, 'Why wouldn't I like you?'

He shrugs, 'Because I'm the school stoner?'

'I don't listen to the shit others say.'

'See, I knew there was a reason why I wanted us to become friends. '

My heart warms slightly, I glance around for a second, 'Uh, is Lucas okay? You know about the break-up.'

'Nah, he's pretty pissed off with Emma, after we left apparently, she came back knocking on his door screaming, and then she said some shitty stuff about Scarlett.'

'Well, good riddance to the bitch is all, I'll say.'

Toby laughs loudly as he claps his hands, 'Honestly, I thought you were going to slap her at one point, I'm a little disappointed you didn't.'

I shrug, 'I'm disappointed in myself as well.'

'Anyway, we're all going to this bonfire later, you in?'

I bit my lip, 'I don't know, I feel like after last night it might be a little awkward.'

The blonde shakes his head, 'Dude, it seriously won't be the same without you. You're one of us now.'

Fuck.

I'm one of them now.

If you would have told me this a few months ago, I would have laughed in your face, extremely hard. But now, I actually felt a small twinge of pride.

Fuck, what is actually fucking happening to me?

'Y-Yeah, sure. I'll come.'

The rest of the day is a blur, I couldn't help but hear Emma's words circulating around my head. People thought I willingly had a threesome with Kyle and Will. And now I was labelled as a Slut.

What if word gets around?

What if people start asking me questions?

I honestly wouldn't care if that was the truth, if that was actually what happened. But it wasn't, and I wished every day since, that it was.

All I want is to scream.

I want to scream until there is no oxygen left in my lungs.

A sharp wave of nausea washes over me, as I walk towards Scarlett's car. Lucas is leant against it, waiting, with a cigarette hanging loosely in his lips. I clench my fists together, in an attempt to stop them from shaking, I didn't want him to know how much it was affecting me.