─── ❝She was expensive,
like the piece of velvet she was wearing,
but she demanded his heart,
not his money❞
or
─── in which he finds his crow in the most unfortunate t...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
chapter twenty,nina or poison?
LAVENDER HOPED that others won't think that she is being desperate. Under no circumstances would she want to marry Brekker even if she was madly in love with him. She understood the value of his gang. Inej was good in the shadows – she collected information from the whispers in the streets being invisible. Jesper was a good shot or a good distraction – he was loud and flashy. Wylan was good with the explosives. Matthias was strong, while Nina was charming and if her powers come back or not, she was so much more than Grisha.
And Lavender was just Lavender. A Grisha with unknown powers, a one-eyed shooter and a medik. Aleksej was a decent medik as well and he will manage to keep them intact if Van Eck will get her. She wasn't proposing this idea in order to marry Brekker, she was proposing the idea to keep the others safe. It was clear that no one wanted to flee, that they were angry and betrayed and that only meant war with the Council and sacrifices had to be made. Only this time, it will be her.
There were so many feelings boiling inside of her, that she felt as if she will break down, but instead she felt numb. Angry at Kaz that he didn't care about their past. Angry at him that he didn't tell her about the plan. She felt betrayed by Van Eck, confused about Wylan looking like Kuwei, worried about Nina's and Inej's health and clearly, Jesper and Kaz went out on one another and she still hasn't apologised to Matthias about her panic attack in the schooner and she wasn't sure if she wanted to. And Aleksej was putting some distance between them after she announced the plan. And that wasn't even half of the feelings inside of her, but the ones relating to her looks and her mental being were pushed aside.
Now, she was sitting outside the tomb, between two trees that were spread down the middle, creating a V-shape. Both of the trees were old and creaky, but they were there nonetheless. Only then, she realised how much she was missing the lake outside the cabin where she lived with her ma. The birds make their nests all around their territories. The baking of her mom. Kaz. Jordie.
She misses the time when her lungs didn't ache with every step she took. Maybe she offered herself as bait because deep down she knew there wasn't much time for her left anyway. It was better to die for a better cause than somewhere while running away.
Playing with the ribbon that wasn't tied in her hair, but wrapped around her left wrist, she knew she lingered on her memories a little bit too much. She missed the warmth of her mother's hugs, the moments when she would sit in front of the lake with Kaz and how Jordie played with them hide and seek. She knew it will never be the same, but those memories brought the solace that kept her moving on.
A distant clink against the marble announced to her, that it was Kaz and forced herself not to react to his presence even if her heart was beating with excitement and worry. He appeared in front of her, passing her a few papers and a pen, only for it to be a marriage certificate.
