Don't Gotta Be Drunk to Say It

Sip 20: BoyxBoy Dynamics Pt. 1

Because I've mostly been writing a boyxboy story at the moment, I've been catapulted head first into the boyxboy community on Wattpad. Before, I was an avid reader of the genre without even having my own books, but now that I actually talk to some of the authors and comment on stories, engage in discussion; there are things that I've noticed. This is probably going to be a two part thing, but whatever.

Now I want to state something, this isn't going to be a rant so please don't read it in that tone. These are simply things that I want to make note of for my own piece of mind, except that I'm letting you guys know as well. So please read this in a tone that is reminiscent of someone making revelations or observations.

The Top and Bottom Complex

This is something I am just beginning to overcome. In my opinion, because most of us live in a patriarchal society we're forced to see things as masculine and feminine. This affects the way we view relationships and is evident in the way we talk even ("Oh, she wears the pants in the relationship?"). And so when we look at homosexual couples, we try to assign a dominate role based on masculinity to one of the two, which is confusing to us. Automatically, we'll place that position with the more "manly" looking person because we think the dominate person is the person that should display "manly" behaviour such as saving the damsel in distress, working a 9am—5pm job and bringing home the bacon so to speak.

This is an issue because both parties in the pair are the same so one cannot ask which one is the fork if both of them are forks. Likewise, it isn't even proper in a straight relationship to ask that because, as far as sexuality is concerned, what if the woman is the dominate one and the man is submissive? Is he suddenly less of a man because his wife bakes the cake and gives him penetration if he asks? We place a lot of stigma on relationship positions.

I've began to notice that a lot of my homosexual friends in real life are more "interchangeable" than we as a society give them credit as. Whether they "top" or "bottom" can depend on their personal preferences and their relationship dynamics rather than what our patriarchal society deems masculine and feminine based on aesthetics.

How This Plays a Role in BoyxBoy Stories

Last year I asked my good pal Chennelle if she would stop reading TIB/PftT if I revealed Roman to be the "bottom" and Ranil as the "top". Chennelle basically told me that if that's how their relationship played out, and if that's how they fit together that she didn't care. Interestingly enough, Chennelle is more concerned with how the characters interact with each other on a more emotional level, and this is how she dictates who's who in the bed so to speak. For her, it has nothing to do with societal expectations.

This came as a surprise to me (when it really shouldn't have, considering how good Chennelle is at capturing emotions). I was only considering making Roman the "bottom" as a type of shock value for my readers. Then when I actually realized that, I asked myself why someone's sexual identity could be used as a shock factor and why it was okay for heterosexual people to keep feeding into sexual stereotypes, especially about sexualities that they are not.

Recently I was reading a story wherein the more dominate and self-assured, physically adept man was in fact the "bottom" in the relationship. Likewise, the lanky, nerdy, physically inept person was the "top". Anyway, I finished the story and went to vote on it when some comments caught my eye. Several people made slightly disturbing comments (at least, in my opinion they were):

"Are you gonna write a sequel where the top is a bottom, I'd rather read that."

"As soon as I found out he was a bottom I stopped reading."

-"Yeah I agree."

"I can't believe he was the bottom, gross!"

And so forth. This instantly reminded me of the conversation I had with Chennelle last year and the way I've been thinking about relationship dynamics lately, especially in the homosexual world.

I find it interesting that readers can leave such vile comments, practically berating the author because she did not play into their sexual desires and expectations. If she decided that that is what the characters wanted, the readers should just shut up about it. She's a storyteller and isn't here for each individual's sexual desires!

Then I thought, "Well, is she or isn't she?" because actually, the story was only a one shot. That made me think, is this a story with a deeper meaning, or an erotica? The story seemed to have a moral but a porn director could also make his story have a moral (in fact there are a lot of satirical pornos). And if someone didn't like the porn then they typically will say something about it. Usually along the lines of how it didn't turn them on. Can a story on Wattpad be degraded to such a level? Does the fact that it's words instead of a video change anything? There is an erotica genre in the writing world, so it is possible.

Are We Just Using Homosexuals as Fetishes?

That lead me to a question that I can't answer. Are we using homosexuals as a fetish? This isn't something that is brand new in the world. It is known that for a lot of females, homosexual porn is something that turns them on just as lesbian porn turns men on. However, I can't help but to realize that on Wattpad, the stories typically seem to be carbon copies of one another. Typically, for me, I only see extremely noticeable differences in plots and relationship dynamics when the boyxboy stories are written by LGBT members, or older people in the 30+ range. And as for the majority of the teenagers and young adults, the stories are usually based off of what they find attractive or appealing in people. Not to say that it's a bad thing, because it's not. Writers usually write about what they like, but to reduce something that could be a complex relationship into another girly "bottom", football-playing "top" just to give some (usually female) readers a quickie? I'm not quite sure yet.