Cat Eyes: Acrux [Book 2]

Chapter 18: Remorse

Rosy's POV

Although I cried a lot for him most of the night, anger finally knocked me down. I couldn't find a way to prevent him from leaving my side, to make him stop feeling grudges and desire for revenge. I wanted him with me and in peace, but nothing seemed more important than hate, not even me. And now, I made things worse.

I hugged my pillow. I just wanted to see him return and stay by my side. I was angry that he had judged me so badly just because I had been raised differently than his old-fashioned society. I understood his way of thinking, but I was still offended, hurt, and sad.

I was afraid that he would leave, and seeing that girl he was once engaged to, he would forget about me. After all, she was just like him, and I was a 'dirty' human.

I gave the little bird some seeds. I had named it 'Yellow.' It wasn't a very creative name, but I liked it. He liked to be on his plant and sing. I had put a small bandage on his wing.

I smiled at the thought that my Acrux had brought it to me, just as a cat would sometimes get gifts for a person, but my smile faded as I remembered we fought.

I sighed. I regretted being with that guy like I never thought I would in my life. I was crazy with hormones, as always, and he was charming and sexy. He was fit. He was going into National Security, and that made him more attractive to me. Although my first time was painful, I was satisfied afterward.

Now I felt terrible for having enjoyed it, and not only that, even dirty. Acrux's gaze had made me feel that way, and knowing that that was indeed what he thought of me had made it worse. I hadn't been able to lie to him when he made the question, and it wasn't what he deserved either.

If it had been in my hands, I would have gone back in time, but there was nothing I could do now. Now I just wanted to see him before he left. The thought that perhaps another totally virgin woman was waiting for him ate at my soul.

I couldn't be selfish, even if he said he wanted to be with me. I didn't know what he would find or how he would react. I would have to understand if he did not return to me.

When I got to the hospital, I took a deep breath and put on one of my best fake smiles. People liked to see me smiling. They liked that I treated them like that, and I also enjoyed giving them that security. Seeing someone smiling and sure of himself gave you strength when you were sick. Smiling brought the feeling that everything would pass and that it would be fine, that things would get better.

Being in one of the rooms on the second floor, with a view of a park, I felt something very, very slight. That feeling that arose that made you believe that someone was watching you. I looked outside, but there were only the trees and a light mist.

Maybe I was going crazy. No. I shook my head and left.

***

After work, I went to meet Marien at a nearby cafe. As soon as I saw her, I ran and hugged her, crying again like an unstable teenager.

"What happened?" She asked worriedly.

"He hates me," I sobbed. I wiped my face and took a deep breath to regain my composure. "He found out that... well...." I looked at the sides. "I'm no longer a virgin," I whispered.

She arched an eyebrow.

"Why do you whisper?"

"It's just that I feel so bad and embarrassed even though it doesn't make sense," I complained again like an unstable teenager. "And I'm so mad now at him for not opening his stubborn mind and understand!"