Not that bad // Rhea Ripley

47- Song For Isabelle

" Back in the days, when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore

but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again"

Pierce The Veil

So as the bookers told me, I didn't appear in any shows until this week. Colby would also be moving in this week, and Scott and him got to know each other better. Things were getting significantly better. I heard Scott calling Phil one night, and it makes me a little sad that he doesn't want to at least talk to me. Oh well. Tonight I'm skyping with the guys, and I'm planning on telling them about Phil. They're aware that he left, but I never told them I wasn't aware of it, and every time they would ask me questions about how Phil is doing, I'd just avoid the topic, but I just can't anymore.

" Hey, how is our beautiful wrestler doing ?" Michael asked with enthusiasm.

" Well, I'm doing good." I smiled. "The friend of mine I told you about is moving in with us this week, things are good."

" Oh, so Phil is really not coming back ?" Ashton questioned.

" Well, no, he told Scott he could rent the room." I said. "He left for the training center in Florida the morning after the show, so I didn't really get to talk to him."

" Wow, rude. " Calum chimed in. "Couldn't he at least say goodbye ?"

" Well, to be completely honest with you guys, I didn't even know before the show that he was leaving to WWE." I confessed. "He tried out months ago, and always told me he got no response, and stopped hoping."

" You mean he pulled off the 'just leave without saying anything'-trick on you once again?" I could sense in Michael's tone that he was growing angry.

" Yeah, I guess you could say that. " I looked down. "I'm actually waiting for some news from him."

" That guy's a twat."

Okay, to be fair, I expected that to come from literally anyone but Luke. Kinda ironic with what happened at New Years Eve. I just laughed it off, and we went on to other conversations. When the Skype call ended I got a text from Michael.

From Michael, 11:54 p.m

" You still have feeling towards him right ?"

I sighed. I couldn't lie to him, he read trough me like an open book, and knows me by heart. Duing high-school I fell head-over-heels for Phil, and used to have the biggest crush on him before we actually got together. He had been good and loving where others left me broken and scared. I just, I guess I'll have to move on, but it's hard.

From Roxanne, 11:56 p.m

" Yeah, well, here's to what little hope I still held"

" Come on, say it, I know you're dying to"

" Say you told me so."

From Michael, 12:01 a.m

" I won't. I'm not going to bring you down."

" I love you Roxanne, and I sincerely hope that someday you'll be able to move forward and forget about him."

" He doesn't deserve your love and attention"

From Roxanne, 12:05 a.m

" Thanks for trying to make me feel better."

" I just, I'll guess I'll have to move on, until he comes back into my life and crushes everything back again."

" Yeah, I'll do that."

" Goodnight Michael, love you too"

That day I probably had the worst night of sleep I ever had in my life. I kept tossing and turning, getting too hot then too cold. At around 4 in the morning I got up to get a glass of water, and heard Scott's door opening.

" Shit, did I wake you up ?" I apologized. "I'm really sorry."

" No, wasn't really sleeping." He said tiredly. "What's up ?"

" Just having trouble sleeping." I explained simply. "I wouldn't say I have insomnia, but yeah, has been happening quite a lot lately."

" Oh, alright." He yawned. "Morning's not far away, try and get a few hours of sleep okay ? Colby needs us to move his stuff here."

" Yeah, I'll try that." I chuckled. "Sorry again Scott."

" You don't have to be sorry, I was used to it with Phil."

He laughed, but I really felt like crying. Did it really feel that bad the first time ? I sighed and went back to my room, where I just laid down on my bed, listening to music and reading. There are times like these when I miss home a lot. Before, when I was having nightmares or insomnia, I'd just call Michael and we'd hang out for a few hours, or he'd call me, since he has a pretty fucked up sleep schedule as well. But right now I can't call him, he's probably in the middle of a course right now. Oh yeah, finals are coming, I can't disturb him. I finally found sleep barely one hour before my alarm clock went off. Stupid feelings, I hate them.