Not that bad // Rhea Ripley

8- Currents Convulsive

" I don't think you'll ever want to love me"

Pierce The Veil

" Why the hell didn't you tell me he was coming back ?" I yelled.

" I just hope you could go without seeing him." He explained looking down. "I thought that if you knew he was here you would try to contact him and end with your heart broken again. We almost lost you at that time, and I don't want that to happen again."

" Well too bad for you, I saw him, and I'm going to see him a lot for the next few weeks." I said.

" What do you mean ? Did he come to you ?" Michael asked.

" I do JuiJitsu every week, and last week I applied for wrestling lessons, and guess who's giving me those ?" Michael faced dropped in shock. "Yeah, you guessed it."

" You didn't even tell me you were wrestling !"

" Because you were against it! You always said you wouldn't let me do so!Even thought that's my fucking dream!" I defended. "And how the fuck did you even know Phil was coming back?"

" Calum saw him, that's what we were talking about when you arrived with Luke the other day." He explained. "He wanted to tell you, but I said no."

" Well too bad, I ended up knowing it by myself."

The bell rang at the right moment and I left Michael planted here, as I walked to my next class, french with Calum. I will have to talk to him too, when I have the time. Well I actually had the time, since our teacher was absent, because of an emergency.

" Calum can I talk to you?" I asked.

" Yeah, but I have something to tell you first. Michael will kill me, but you deserve to know."

" Cal" I interrupted him. "Don't worry, I already know about Phil. I trained with him yesterday evening."

" What? How?" He asked, as confused as I was yesterday.

" I started taking wrestling lessons, and he is my instructor." I blurted out. " Now I don't want you to tell me how wrestling is dangerous, I don't need that right now alright?"

" I wasn't about to do that." He said calmly. "You know, I don't share Michael's opinion. Of course wrestling can be dangerous, but you know, crossing the road can be as well. You're a big girl, you're old enough to know what you want. And as far as I know, that's been your dream since you were a kid."

I was really touched by what Calum said. I know Michael only does that because he is worried about me. He supported me during a time when I was really depressed and had lots of self-destructive thoughts. Now that I feel better, I don't want to fall into all of that once again. I want to be happy just as much as Michael wants to see me happy.

" Have you talked to him ?" Calum asked suddenly.

" Not really, we talked in the context of wrestling, and he invited me to get some coffee with him, but I declined, I was just too confused about the situation, and needed time for myself."

" I talked to him a little." He confessed. " The day I saw him, he came to me and asked about you, you know. He said he was going to be in town for a month and a half, but you probably know that since you saw him."

" Yeah, my teacher told us." I was shocked. "Did he really ask about me?"

" Yeah he did, but please Roxanne, don't go falling into his arms once again." Calum told me sternly. "He's leaving in not even 2 months, and I don't want you to be hurt all over again."

" No don't worry, I do not expect to fall head over heels for him again, I just want some answers to all my questions." In reality I couldn't fall in love again, since I have never forgotten him.

" Then you better accept his invitation for coffee, you two could use some good old talk." Cal advised.

" Yeah, I think that's the wiser." I nodded. "Thanks for your advice Calum, and I think I'll have to go talk to Michael too, a bit more calmly." I laughed nervously.

" Yeah, I guess so." He chuckled. "I suppose you were pretty mad this morning huh?"

" I was furious."

We both laughed and waited for the bell to ring again. We headed to History class where I sat next to Michael. Calum and Luke were sitting right behind us.

" Michael, can I talk to you right after?" I asked gently. "And I'm truly sorry for this morning."

He didn't answer me. I think he's really mad at me. I was stressing throughout the whole lesson, and couldn't wait to get out. When the bell rang I was jumping out of my chair, and waiting for Michael to exit. He passed right in front of me without saying a word. I ran behind him and grabbed his shoulder, to force him to turn around and look at me.

"What, you wanna yell at me again?" He growled. "I'm sorry I worry about you sometimes, I almost lost you once, and I don't want that to happen again."

I didn't answer anything and just hugged him to shut him up. He led me outside and we sat on the grass.

" Mikey, I'm sorry I was a total bitch earlier." I apologized. "I know you're worried about me and all, but please don't keep things like that from me. I'm a grown up, I can handle shit, and you know I always end up knowing everything."

He hugged me back and I explained him that Phil wanted to have a coffee with me to sort things out. He was hesitant at first but he still knew that it was important to me, and that I had loved Phil with all I had. He had nothing against Phil, he had always been the sweetest guy ever with me, until he left without a word and made all my world crumble. That's when he started hating him with all his might. On the other hand, as much as he hurt me, I could never bring myself to hate him.