The Nearness Of You

33

Seungri

I stayed in bed when I woke up, lingering while staring at the ceiling as I think of Yukii. The last time she talked to me was during that dinner wherein she brought up that girl named Jinnie again. It seems like Yukii was really dismayed and frustrated about me not remembering her the fact that I really don't. What can I do? There are times when I squeeze my eyes shut, concentrate and dig deep into my thoughts trying to remember a single thing about the girl that Yukii talks about but still, there's nothing. Yukii kept on telling me that I love her. But how come I can't even feel anything everytime I hear her name. I feel bad because Yukii and I have to be in this kind of situation. I don't want her to hate me. She's one of my bestfriends. She's my sister. And now she hates me because I can't remember that girl.

That accident caused some of my recent memories to be lost, but what I did not tell Yoongi and Yukii is that for the past few days some of the memories that happened to me before that accident are slowly coming back. I remember my break up with Brianne until the part where Yoongi told me that he wants to propose to Yukii. I remember spending nights at the bar after Brianne and I broke up and it's either by myself or sometimes with my two bestfriends. If Yukii is telling the truth then why I remember some of my recent memories before the incident but nothing about that girl. I remember some things now except for her. Somehow it made me curious. Am I suffering from repression? I know this case happens to some people and it is a form of a defense mechanism. The person experiences an unconscious blocking of unacceptible thoughts, feelings and impulses that's probably caused by a certain person or a certain event that resulted a traumatic experience. Maybe that's what happened to me. I don't know. I can only guess. But what I do believe is that the memory is something that is very malleable and ever changing.

I sigh. I should tell myself that something's not right here but then, I just don't care. I'm happy and contented now the fact that I'm still alive and breathing and that Brianne is with me again. I couldn't ask for more and I no longer want to stress myself and think about what Yukii told me. I just wish that she would stop talking about that girl and that the two of us would be okay with each other again just like before.

"Aish, Yukii-ssi.." I bit my lip and shook my head. "I hope you'll finally talk to me."

A few minutes more I decided to get off the bed to make myself some coffee. I still have time to think about some things since my date with Brianne will be at lunch time. I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee only to be dismayed that I no longer have some in my cupboard.

"Aigoo.." I scratch the back of my head. "Jinjja? Ottokhae.." I stood there in the kitchen for awhile and decided to have breakfast elsewhere. I took a quick shower and put on a blue polo shirt and denim pants and went out.

A sudden brief rush of wind hits my face as soon as I'm out of the house. I inhaled deeply as I stretched my arms and smile. It seems like it's going to be a perfect day.

I started to walk and gaze around. I decided to walk instead of driving. I want to savor the sunlight and smell the morning air and, aside from that, I want to clear my head from all the dubiety.

I thoroughly enjoyed walking not even realizing that I'm almost near the diner where I planned to have breakfast. I can see it already and took glance of my watch to check the time when all of a sudden, someone crashed into me.

"Oh!" It was a woman's voice but I didn't see her face because she bowed down immediately to gather her stuff that fell on the floor because of the impact. She must've been to a convenience store since I saw freshly bought toiletries scatter on the ground. The woman picks it up one by one. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." She mumbles as she grabs her things and put it back in her brown bag.

"No, it's my fault." I tell her and helped her pick some of the remaining stuff on the ground. "Here. I think this is the last one." I gave her the roll of tissue paper I picked up.

"Thank you." The woman muttered and took it. After that she looks at me and I get to see her face. I smile at her and took notice of her hazel eyes which, in an unexplainable way, looked familiar. But the woman stared at me in an unusual way. Her eyebrows turned into a deep crease and soon after her eyes went wide like she'd seen a ghost or something.

"Are you okay, miss?" I ask her but she just stares at me, and the surprised look on her face suddenly changed and become somewhat doleful. "Miss?" I ask her again she startled a bit.

"I-I'm sorry about what happened. I.. I wasn't looking." She apologized and turned away her gaze. I don't understand but she looks kind of uneasy.

"No, I should be the one to say sorry. It was my fault really. I wasn't looking myself." I let out a soft chuckle which made her turn to me. And again, I see sadness in her eyes as she looks at me.

She nodded her head and bit her lip and afterwards lowered down her gaze. "Okay then. I'll be going now." She was about to walk right past me but I blocked her way. I don't know what had gotten into me. I was surprised myself. She looks at me again, bemused. It's as if she wants to ask me something but she held herself.

"Uh.." I feel awkward because we're standing face to face but at the same time, I also feel like I don't want her to leave. What the hell am I doing? I thought to myself.

"Mister, I have to go.."

"Oh." I muttered and scratched the back of my head. "I-I'm sorry. Okay." I apologized and made way for her. She gave me a half-smile and started walking away.

I watch her walk away and feel my heart started beating fast. I don't understand what's happening to me but, I feel like.. stopping her and wanting to talk to her more.

"Wait!" I called out but she still continued walking. "Hey!" I ran towards her and once I reached her I took hold of her elbow and made her turn to me.

She looks at me with confusion all over her face. "W-What?"

I extended a hand at her. "My name is Seungri." I smile in between breaths.

I saw her swallow hard and her mouth went agape. She looks at me for awhile then to my hand before she reached for it.

"Eshriel.. My name is Eshriel.."

The moment our hands touched I felt a spark. Her hand feels familiar and a wave of nostalgia hits my chest which I cannot explain why. I don't know her, but somehow it felt like I do.

"I.. I really have to go." She pulled her hand away. "It was nice meeting you." With that she turned her back away from me and left.

"W-Wait!" I shout but she only walked faster. "Wait.." I whisper mostly to myself. At that moment, I feel like I profoundly lost something.. And I don't understand why..

A/N:

*Coughs* Will wait for your violent reactions LOL

Sorry for the late update. (It's been a week) I'm guessing there's only 3 or 4 chapters 'til this story is over. So.. Stay with me? Pretty please? *Eyes fluttering*

Off topic! Bigbang will have a concert here this July and ticket selling starts tomorrow I guess. I hope I can have enough money to buy a ticket. *cries*

Anyway, 'til the next update. VIP FIGHTING!

--Katie