The Nearness Of You

35

Seungri

I went inside the house a bit troubled. The whole time I was in the restaurant I can't seem to forget the woman I bumped myself into. I keep on thinking about her even when I was driving back home up until now. There was something in her eyes. They seem familiar. And her voice. I think I've heard that voice somewhere. I just couldn't remember. What is going on with me?

I let out a deep sigh. I shouldn't be like this. I should stop thinking about her. I love Brianne. Just by thinking about that woman makes me feel like I'm cheating on her. And I won't, no, I do'nt want to cheat on the only woman that I love. But I keep on seeing her face..

"Eshriel.." As soon as I utter that woman's name I immediately cover my mouth with both of my hands. I feel guilty just by saying another woman's name. I ran a hand through my hair. "This is crazy." I whisper.

I took the remote of my CD player and turned it on. I hope by listening to music my thoughts would be preoccupied. As soon as I hear it start playing a song I headed to my room only to stop half way when I realized that the song isn't familiar to me.

With creased eyebrows I walk back slowly towards the living room. It was a slow RnB song and the artist is a female. I haven't turn my player on for quite sometime and I don't remember having an album like this. I was about to turn it off when I hear the songs lyrics and I stopped walking. I don't know what was happening but my head seemed to hurt. All of a sudden memories I don't remember even having flashed in my head. One by one they came flashing back and it was out of control. And in all those memories, I saw the face of the woman I saw earlier.

I saw her singing in a bar looking like a goddess. I saw her smile at me as she sits beside me while I'm driving. I saw her look at me with those hazel eyes of hers as we walk hand in hand at the harbor. And I remember, as the lyrics of the song is being played, the moment when we're dancing and we kissed. It was right here, and this was the song being played that time. That's when I realized that I know her. I remember her.

"Jinnie.." I whisper and sucked up some air. My knees wobble and I had to sit on the couch for support as the reality dawned upon me.

That woman was Jinnie. The woman who I really love.

"Oh God.." I bowed down my head and cover my face with my hands. How come I've forgotten all about her? "Oh God, Jinn.. What have I done?" Tears sprung from my eyes as I think of her. The doeful look on her face awhile ago, her eyes that showed longing. She could've just told me who she really was but she didn't. Then I remember Yukii. She used to tell me about her but I didn't believe her. But I didn't remember her then, and now recalling everything made me feel extremely guilty. I should be with her and not Brianne for it's her that I love.

I stood up immediately and wiped my tears. I grab the car keys and went hastily towards the car. As soon as I started the engine I headed towards the place where I would find her.

It didn't take me long enough to arrive at the apartment building she's living at. I rushed inside and climbed the stairs two steps at a time just to reach her unit quickly. I am now finally in front of her place and though I am breathless it didn't stop me from calling her name as I continuously knock on her door.

"Jinn! Jinnie! Open up! It's me, Seungri! Open up please!" Desperation is evident in my voice and the anxiety is killing me. I've knocked several times already but she's not answering. "Jinn! Please open the door!" I knocked again and again until I hear someone speak behind me. I turn to see that it was an old man.

"Who are you?" He asks me questionningly.

"I-I'm.. I'm Seungri.. I'm Jinnie's.. Friend." I say to him breathlessly.

"Oh. I see." The old man walks up to me. "I'm Mr. Darwin. Jinnie's neighbor." He extends a hand and I accepted it. "Well, she doesn't live here anymore. She's gone. You just missed her."

What he said made my eyebrows furrow. I feel like I've been splashed by cold water. "W-What do you mean?"

"She left awhile ago. She's moving to a new place somewhere south."

"No.. This can't be happening.." I whisper almost to myself. I cover my mouth with my hand. This isn't happening.

"Mister?" I startle a bit as I felt the old man's hand rest on my shoulder. "You can still catch her you know? She had left a couple of minutes ago and she's on her way to the train station. You can still--"

I didn't listen to him finish what he's saying and went rushing downstairs. It was rude of me I know but I'll apologize to him later. I have to catch Jinnie and stop her from leaving. I have to tell her that I remember her now.

I hope it's not too late.