The Nearness Of You

36

Jinnie

I sit on that bench contemplating about what will happen to me in the future as I wait for the train to arrive. Back then I thought Seungri and I would be together until the day I'll be casted into hell and accepted whatever fate that awaits me. That's how much I love him. I'd rather be damned than his life be in danger because I'm always around him.

But fate is unpredictable even if you got it all planned for yourself. All that happened between Seungri and I, it's not what I expected. I didn't expect that the moment he first approached me would lead into something romantic and beautiful. I didn't expect that I would learn to love again and that it's him I would love. And I didn't expect that all of those things would just turn into ash. And I'd rather be sent into the depths of hell than be like this; a living mortal, yet I feel like I am already dead because the only thing that ever made me feel so alive is gone.

Then I thought of what Cassiel said to me awhile ago. About Rafael tampering Seungri's memories which made him forget all about me. I am enraged once again as I thought of what Rafael had done. What have I ever done to him? I only loved a mortal. I didn't cause harm to anyone and yet he did this to me. I couldn't think of other reasons why but I can only promise one thing, I will never forgive him. I will never forgive Rafael.

He had won but I'm still here, in one piece. He might have taken the only thing that matters to me, but I'm still alive. I have to show him that I'm having a happy life, and that becoming a mortal is so much worth it. I told myself not to let him see that I'm miserable. And so right then and there, even though I still haven't moved on from losing Seungri, I decided to take one step forward and face this new life I'll be having. Who knows what this life might bring me? I took a deep breath and smile a bit. I have to be optimistic.

All of a sudden I hear someone announce that the train would soon arrive after a few minutes so I stood up and waited along with the few passengers at the train's loading area. I look at my watch from time to time. This is it. I'll leave and there's no coming back. This place gave me so much memories, I will never forget all of it.

I glance at the family standing beside me and I smile as I watch the mother cradle her baby in her arms. It was a boy, with golden locks of hair and round, blue eyes. He cackles as he took sight of me and later on attempts to reach me with his tiny, stubby hands. I was about to touch his hand when I hear someone call my name.

I turn my head towards the direction of where that voice came from, eyes squinting to identify who might it be. It was a man, and not until he's ten steps away from me did I recognize his face.

"S-Seungri?" I muffled in a low voice. What is he doing here? How did he know I am here? He doesn't remember me. Does this mean..

"Jinnie.."

Hearing him say my name made my eyes wide and I froze. My mouth went agape out of confusion and disbelief. Seungri walks slowly again towards me. As he came closer I see his eyes, there's recognition in them. Like he has already remembered me.

"I remember everything.." He tells me. "I've forgotten all about you. I don't even know why or how did it happen I.." He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry.." He looks at me pleadingly then ran a hand through his hair. "I want you back. I want us to be together again. Please, let us be together again." We are standing face to face now and I can see painful longing in those eyes of his. "Please don't say no.." He pleaded and took hold of both my hands.

Tears brimmed in my eyes. Those were the words I've been longing to hear."I thought you'll never remember me.." A tear slid across my cheek. "I was scared that you won't remember me.."

Seungri holds my cheek. "Everything came back to me when I heard that song I played when I asked you to dance the night we had a Greek dinner." He said to me. "Do you remember?"

I let out a soft chuckle. "Of course I do. It's only you who has forgotten." I tell him softly. Seungri chuckled himself.

"Forgive me for what I've done.. A lot of things have happened and I left you alone. .I've forgotten everything about us.. I swear to God I didn't want that to happen, Jinn.. I love you so much.." Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I know, Seungri.. I know.." I tell him and touch his face. "It's not your fault. None of this is."

Seungri takes a deep breath. "Then let's get back together. Don't leave, Jinn. I won't bear it. You know that." He said to me. "Do you still love me?" His voice sounded anxious.

I stare at his eyes for awhile. Even though I am no longer able to read minds I know he was sincere with everything he just said by looking through them.

"Jinnie? Say something please.." He looks scared. Scared that I might respond with an answer that he doesn't want to hear.

"Yes, Seungri. I do. I still love you." I tell him looking straight into his eyes. A smile slowly formed in his lips and he hugs me tight. He kisses my forehead, then the tip of my nose, then my chin before he kisses my lips. His soft, sweet lips gently touched mine and it sent a wave of nostalgia within me. I never thought this would happen again.

Our foreheads touched as we ended the kiss and the tip of our noses bumped with each other's making me smile with my eyes closed. We stayed like that for awhile until I hear him speak.

"I will never let anything come in between us ever again, Jinn. I promise."

I hear the sound of the train as it arrives and the loud honking of it's horns. People started to mill around and as soon as it stopped passengers started to get in and out of the train. But Seungri and I, we remained standing still. We didn't care if people bump us or if we're blocking their way. All that matters to us is this closeness. What matters to us is being able to hold and be in each other's arms again.

The End.