The Nearness Of You

13

Seungri

"Oppa, are you okay?" Yukii asks me right after Yoongi left our table to go to the restroom.

"Jeoneun jal jinaeyo." I answer her. I fake a smile hoping I didn't look like a trying hard idiot.

Yukii didn't look convinced though. Her round, green eyes studied my face. "I don't believe you." She softly spoke and looks at me with discernment. She probably noticed. I don't know how this dongsaeng of mine can see right through me. It's amazing but sometimes can be a bit scary. I can't hide anything from this girl. The thought made me shook my head and then smirk.

"I said I'm fine, Yukii-ssi." I tell her convincingly. "I don't know why you suddenly thought I wasn't."

Yukii sighed. "Oppa, the whole ride towards here up until we took a seat you're this jovial and perky person. And then all of a sudden you looked troubled and in deep thought. I wonder why.."

Ah, Yukii-ssi.. I smile a little. I feel ashamed to tell her the reason. I might sound like a girl whining and it's embarrassing. But knowing Yukii, she won't stop until I gave her an authentic answer.

"Okay, I give up." I shrug and let out a deep sigh. "I saw Jinnie.." I swallow hard. "She entered the bar awhile ago and I can tell that she also saw me, but.. it's as if she didn't. She quickly removed her gaze from me and walked away hurriedly. I don't understand why she acted like that." I rub my eyes with the base of my palms.

"You're being worrisome. Maybe she just really didn't see you." Yukii reached for my hand. "Oppa, stop worrying about things.." She tells me with that signature comforting smile of hers. I just smile at her and nod. I lift up the bottle in front of me and took a swig of my beer. I saw her face. I saw how she pretended to not have sighted me and it pains me. The two of us went along fine the last time, why like this right now? It's confusing.

Yoongi came back at our table after a few minutes and the three of us started another conversation. Yukii didn't mention anything about what we've talked about awhile ago while Yoongi's gone and I'm thankful. Yukii is really reliable and trustworthy at times. After a couple of minutes Jinnie finally went onstage.

"Hey hyung, there's your girl." Yoongi motioned his head towards the stage. I had my eyes fixed on her, this stunning lady in front of me who never fails to amaze me with her beauty. She starts to perform and I watch her sing, but after two songs I noticed that not even once she took glance in our direction. Specifically to me. My chest tightened for a bit and my eyebrows furrowed. Why do I have the feeling that she's avoiding me and doing it so intentionally?

"She's really good, ne? Oppa?" Yukii nudges me and whispered in my ear. I turn to her and slightly nod my head in agreement then had my attention back again at Jinnie. If she finishes her set without really glancing at me then there's really something wrong.

Seven songs and not a single glance. Something's up. Definitely. I watch her as she thanked the audience and went backstage. In a few minutes I know she would sit on her usual spot and what I had in mind is to go over there as soon as possible and talk with her. I need to. I have to. I will. I stood up from my seat and was about to take a step not until Yukii calls for me. I forgot I wasn't alone.

"Oppa? Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to invite Jinnie to come over at our table." I answer and look at both Yoongi and Yukii with a smile. "So you guys can meet her. Araseo?"

"Ne." Both of them answered.

"Jamsimanyo." I winked at them. I breathed deeply as soon as I had my back turned away from Yoongi and Yukii, my smiling face changed to stern. I'm having mixed emotions right now but most of what's consuming me was anxiety, fear of the unknown. I don't know what's the reason why she's acting this way and it's mind boggling. I need to know, sort things out with her. Settle the score for whatever it is we're having.

I was about five steps away from her usual table when someone blocked my way causing me to stop. It was a guy. I raise an eyebrow as soon as it registered in my brain that I know him and I've seen him before. Messy hair and deep, dark eyes. He's the guy Jinnie went out with the first time I met her. I smile at him but his face remained dead serious.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked me in a raspy voice.

"Uh, hey. I'm Seungri. I'm a friend of Jinnie's." I extended a hand but he didn't take it and shot me a look of repugnance. Seriously, it really made me feel a bit debased but I told myself I'll let it slide. For Jinnie's sake.

"Stay away from her." The guy tells me authoritatively which made my forehead crease. Did I hear him right? Who the hell does he think he is to tell me that?

I laugh at him mockingly. "And who are you to tell me that? Are you her lover?" I ask him sarcastically. Somehow it made me nervous that he'll answer yes, but the guy went uneasy and couldn't utter a reply. It made me smirk. It only proved that he's not. Good for me. "Move then. Get out of my way." I tell him.

The guy didn't flinch and moved closer, and with gritted teeth he says to me. "I told you to stay away from her. Didn't you hear what I've said? Don't you ever come near her again. You'll only cause trouble."

Trouble? Me? What the hell does this guy think of me?

"What the hell is your problem?" I shove him a bit hard making him step backwards. A pair of hands that came from my back took hold of my arms and I turn my head to see that it was Yoongi.

"Take it easy, hyung.." Yoongi whispers at me. "Yah, What's the problem?" He asks the guy in front of us.

"I do not intend to cause a fight. I just told your friend that he should leave Jinn alone." The guy answers Yoongi but had his gaze fixed at me still. "He wouldn't listen though." He adds.

Before I could answer Jinnie came into view. She hurriedly held the guy's arm and looked at him worriedly. They stare at each other for awhile and the guy's features softened up for a bit. The sight made my heart feel like it was being wrapped by several barbed wires.

"Go ahead, Yesung. I'll meet you in the car." Jinnie softly tells him. The man nodded his head and took one last glance at me filled with repulsion. I did the same and then he left.

"Seungri.." I turn to see Jinnie with an apologetic face. But more than that, there was something else. I just couldn't make out what it is.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Jinnie. But your friend, he's a bit persuasive. I don't know why he kept on telling me to stay away from y--"

"Yes, Seungri. You have to stay away from me from now on. We shouldn't see each other again. We should stop all of this. It's pointless and..foolish."

What I heard made my mouth agape. It took me a moment before I could respond and barely made out an answer. "Pointless?" It was almost a whisper. "Foo.. Foolish?" I look at her helpessly. "Are you saying.." No. I couldn't believe this. I am so being dumped.

"I'm sorry, Seungri.."

"But you lead me on.. Why did you do that? And now you'll just ditch me like this?" My voice was so bitter I think I could even taste it. This conversation hurts like hell.

Jinnie's eyes went a bit glassy and she shakes her head. "I'm so sorry.." It was all she ever said before turning her back and walked away.

I was left there standing with grief, confusion, and disbelief. I never felt anything like this in my entire life with a girl I just met. Usually, situations like this doesn't bother me. But unlike before, what happened right know is a huge blow in my face. And it damn hurts. It really, really hurts. What could I have possibly done to deserve this? What have I done to make her do this to me?

Yoongi taps me on the shoulders which pulled me back to my senses. "Hyung.. Are you okay?"

I let out a laugh. "She just dumped me. And without any reason at all. Awesome." I answer Yoongi resentfully.

"Hyung.."

I turn to face Yoongi. "Yoongi-ah! I want to get drunk!" I laugh loudly and put an arm around his shoulders. I led the way back to our table and ordered some beers. Right now I just want to get really drunk until I pass out. I want to be numb. This feeling of pain will be the cause of my death. And I don't want this. I want to forget. I just hope I can. I'll try.